READER STORY

Paula Robinson says, “Giving birth to my daughter went exactly as I had planned, which I know is unusual! I had an unmedicated, natural water birth, and was surrounded by my family and two supportive midwives. It was what came three days later that left me rattled for 18 months afterwards, at which point I left my partner. “On day three, I became extremely ill, with a temperature of 42°C. I was taken to the intensive care unit and ultimately separated from my baby for almost two weeks. It was touch and go, and I experienced pain in my abdomen worse than my natural childbirth, was pricked and prodded with needles every day as doctors tried to diagnose my illness, had a lumber puncture, MRI, CT scans and a dilation and curettage performed. I was never given a proper diagnosis, which made me distrustful of the medical system. “When I eventually returned home, I was determined to get my formula-fed baby back on the boob. This took four days, but I did it. I think if I hadn’t achieved this, my PTSD would have been worse. Coming home meant taking care of my newborn, so there was no space to digest what I had been through. Looking back, I was so determined just to get on with it, that I didn’t recognise the signs of PTSD – flashbacks, fearing the hospital visits, immense stress and anxiety. I wasn’t kind to myself, and the effects were lasting. I only sought treatment about five years later through Bodytalks therapy. I wish I had done it sooner!”