HOW TO HELP: A CHECKLIST FOR BIRTH PARTNERS

✓ Take an antenatal class together. Birth is not the mom’s problem – it’s the start of a new life together.

✓ Know when to take Mom to the hospital. Don’t go too early! If it’s a natural birth, labour can last for hours. If it’s a c-section, the gynaecologist will be able to give you the appropriate times.

✓ Download a contraction app (before she goes into labour!). Correctly timing contractions in a natural labour is a very important role.

✓ Watch YouTube videos of birth. Mentally prepare yourself by watching videos of both natural births and c-sections (a birth can go either way, no matter what you’ve planned). ✓ Know your birth plan. Understanding your partner’s ideal birth helps you to keep things on track.

✓ Know the pain management wishes. Be her advocate, and understand – and push for – what she wants during the intensity of birth.

✓ Communicate all your partner’s wishes to the gynae or midwife.

✓ Have water and snacks available. Both of you need to stay hydrated and happy.

✓ Help pack the hospital bag. Doula Tertia Alkema says, “Don’t be as reliant on your partner as always – you need to be the rock.”

✓ Follow and label baby. When the baby is wheeled out of the ward, make sure you follow your little one, and ensure he or she is labelled and safe before returning to the mom.

✓ Document the moment. Take photos as previously agreed between you – you can always delete later.

✓ Be supportive. “Remember, this does not mean advice or coaching!” Tertia warns.

✓ Do all the paperwork at the hospital.

✓ Make sure you have all the important telephone numbers.

✓ Be physically helpful. During a natural birth, this could mean massaging areas of tension, holding her while she pushes, and offering encouragement. During a c-section, this could include help getting up, showering and using the loo.