Real life: I almost died during childbirth
Melissa de Koker’s journey to becoming a mom was paved with fertility struggles, awful medical advice and sheer bad luck. This is the story of how she came out on the other side, as told to Samantha Herbst
WHEN MELISSA DE KOKER fell pregnant after six years of battling infertility, she thought her bad luck was behind her. In the lead-up to conception, the mom-to-be had had one unnecessary fibroid surgery and another procedure to remove pervasive endometriosis, which almost cost her her life. The birth of her miracle baby could surely not be as traumatic? Little did she know what life would have in store…
“For years I suffered from heavy and painful periods to the point where I would vomit and pass out from the pain. I ended up in hospital several times because of it, but doctors simply put it down to a bladder infection.
“I had never heard of endometriosis before and had no idea that that might be why my husband, Duvan, and I weren’t able to conceive. After several years of heading back and forth between doctors, I was eventually referred to a specialist gynaecologist, who confirmed that I had severe endometriosis. This is where tissue, similar to the matter that lines the inside of your uterus, grows outside of the uterus, which explains the pain.”
UNEXPECTED TRAUMA
“One month later, they opened me up to remove the endometriosis – and the damage was worse than my doctor had initially thought. He ended up removing one of my ovaries, threequarters of my bladder, a small section of my bowel and my ureter, the pipe between my bladder and kidney, which was replaced with a stent. “Because of the extent of my condition, a procedure that’s normally done in 30 minutes laparoscopically took about three hours, which was much longer than expected. Besides that, I almost bled out on the table. I lost
2.5 litres of blood, and my doctors had to rush emergency supplies from a nearby hospital.”
SOME HAPPY NEWS
“It took six week for me to recover from surgery, but after a year, I was well enough to pursue fertility treatment. While my body was better equipped to
Little Katiana arrived at 37 weeks and had to be taken to the NICU for treatment almost immediately.
grow a baby, my husband’s sperm count was not great, and we decided to go ahead with IVF. Within a month, doctors confirmed that I was pregnant.
“I was overwhelmed with joy. Besides a bit of morning sickness and food aversions in the beginning, I loved my pregnancy and felt amazing. I had no weird illnesses and never had to be rushed to hospital for anything out of the ordinary. It was a pretty easy-going pregnancy, except for the fact that I put on 30kg! I also suffered from oedema towards the end, which obviously contributed to this.
“I found out at 18 weeks that I was having a girl, which was a surprise. I always knew I wanted a baby, but I always expected a boy. So when my doctor broke the news, I knew I had to shift my mindset in a big way.”
LESS THAN IDEAL POSITIONING
“I also found out in the coming weeks that I had placenta previa and placenta anterior, which means that my placenta was wrapped around my pelvis like a nappy, blocking the cervix. My baby was also lying transverse and breech. All of these elements combined meant that I would have a caesarean section. If my doctor allowed labour to progress naturally, my placenta would have been ruptured, causing me to haemmorhage. “These circumstances also meant that my doctor would have to make a vertical incision at the time of delivery, which would lead from my belly button to just above my pelvic bone. But I wasn’t disappointed. From the beginning, I was open to whatever type of birth would be best for my baby. Giving birth vaginally
was never a priority for me – I just wanted my baby to be safe and healthy.”
AN EARLY LABOUR
“Then, despite my otherwise pleasant pregnancy, I went into labour at around 34 weeks. At my routine checkup, my baby was moving around too much for my doctor to get a proper heart rate, so he sent me for a non-stress test. “This confirmed that I was having labour contractions, which were already three minutes apart, despite there being no pain.
“I was immediately booked into hospital to try curb the labour process. And for the next three weeks I was in and out of hospital on steroids and drips to try develop my baby’s lungs and to keep her in as long as possible. But this little one was so intent on coming into the world, that at 37 weeks my doctor wheeled me into theatre.”
TOUCH-AND-GO
“Due to the position of the baby and the placenta, my surgery would be more complicated than most c-sections, so my doctor advised me that I would need to go under anaesthetic during the birth and that I would be unconscious during my daughter’s arrival.
“She came out half an hour into the surgery but had swallowed some fluid and was struggling to breathe, so she was immediately taken to NICU for treatment. At this point, Duvan had been sent out of the operating room to be with her. Just before leaving, he saw the doctor’s face, which he said was white as a sheet.
“Despite all the necessary precautions
taken by my gynae – which included four additional doctors and blood on standby – the placenta got nicked during surgery, and I lost three litres of blood in under a minute. The situation was dire. So, for the next three-and-a-half hours, the doctors did whatever they needed to stop the bleeding and save my life. “But my doctor, scared as he might have been, pulled through. My baby and I were both in ICU for three days. Only after that could we spend our first night together since she was born, and we went home two days later.
“I even managed to breastfeed until a month before my daughter turned two last year. Coming out of surgery, I’d been pumped full of morphine and unfortunately had to pump and dump all my colostrum.
“But once my milk came in, she latched no problem and remained an on-demand breastfed baby until she selfweaned one month before her second birthday. It was such a blessing! Still, it was also nice for Duvan to be able to feed her in the early days. Not every dad has that bonding opportunity.”
PURE LIFE
“My strong-willed, feisty and independent little miracle, Katiana Zoë (which quite fittingly means pure life), had no lingering effects from her traumatic birth. She met every one of her milestones, and she’s flourishing.
“I know every mom believes that her baby is the smartest in the world, but this little girl really is extremely clever and imaginative and simply beautiful. We’ll be forever grateful to have her earthside with us.”