All you need is love
What does a baby need for optimal development? The answer is really simple actually: your attention and love.
Babies are so keen to learn, and we obviously want to make the most of this period of growth and development. But did you know that experts agree that no flashcard, app or toy can replace a parent’s love for their child?
A parent who chats to, plays with and piques their child’s curiosity is the best teacher a baby could wish for. Here’s some inspiration…
HANDSFUL OF LOVE
Baby massage has a range of physiological as well as psychological benefits for a baby. It’s particularly helpful if you’ve been struggling to bond with the new baby – bonding does not always come naturally after birth. Your positive touch can definitely make the bond between you stronger and deeper.
A baby’s bonding with his parents and other important people in his life stimulates brain development. With massage before the age of 5 years you can stimulate and promote brain development. Not only Baby benefits from massage; as parents, you also gain from it. In the process you also teach your baby important principles like love, respect and caring. Beside all the health benefits, baby massage benefits Baby’s development in the following ways:
It promotes muscle coordination, suppleness and muscle tone.
It ups the production in the brain of the feel-good hormone endorphin that helps with pain management, reduces stress and boosts Baby’s emotional wellbeing. Touch stimulation encourages his sensory consciousness.
The nervous system is stimulated and whole brain development is promoted. It promotes Baby’s body consciousness.
It promotes the bonding process between baby and parents.
Your baby learns the difference between positive and negative touch.
It promotes his communication skills.
Go to the website of the International Association of Infant Massage (iaimsa.co.za) to find an instructor in your area.
A VOICE THAT CARES
You play a meaningful role in the development of your baby’s communication skills.
“Babies learn to imitate important people in their lives,” says Ineke van Dullemen, an educational psychologist from Midrand, Gauteng.
“The primary carer is Baby’s role model and becomes the measure for acceptable and efficient communication.”
A newborn baby reacts almost immediately to his parents’ voice. “Without realising, you often chat to your baby, and he hears your voice in this way. These kinds of chats are priceless.”
If he cries, ask him what could be wrong. Is he hungry? Does he have a dirty nappy? This exposes him to a range of words that he won’t understand at first but will soon start connecting to certain situations and objects.
As he grows older, the conversations can be extended to include other things, like his favourite toys.
The car is an excellent place to chat as your baby grows older, Ineke says. “Tell him what’s happening around him and what he’s seeing. In this way, you grow his vocabulary and strengthen the communication patterns he’s going to need when he starts speaking.”
MILK IS LOVE
Breastfeeding ensures optimal nutrition and is also a bonding opportunity. “Various studies have shown that breast babies have a higher level of emotional, social and intellectual development,” says Sister Hettie Grové, a midwife, international labour educator and lactation consultant from Springs near Johannesburg.
“One of the most important benefits of breastfeeding is the opportunity to pay intimate attention to your baby.” Hettie recommends that your baby be nursed after birth and before he’s cleaned. The lingering smell of the amniotic fluid will help him nurse easier. “Skin-on-skin contact is the first step to a successful breastfeeding relationship between a mom and her baby – in the hospital and when you’re at home.”
A mom who can’t breastfeed, or a partner, can still forge a close bond with the baby during feeding sessions. “Skin-to-skin contact is beneficial for any baby. Also don’t bathe a bottle baby straight after the birth, because the smell of the amniotic fluid will promote the bonding process. As far as possible, only the parents should initially feed the baby.” Look out for these things when you’re bottle feeding:
You and Baby should both be comfortable.
Hold your baby in a different position every time, so that he’s stimulated on both sides.
Make eye contact with him while he drinks, and talk to him.
Hold his hands open, so that you can cuddle them.
Mix the formula correctly because too much or too little powder could lead to deficiencies that inhibit brain development.
EMOTIONS COUNT
Research shows that emotionally intelligent people are more successful in their careers and relationships with others. It also helps children to cope with life’s demands, says Welma Wehmeyer, an educational psychologist from Cape Town. “Emotional intelligence means being ‘smart’ with your emotions. It’s the ability to identify and understand your own feelings and reacting to them in an appropriate way.”
Although each baby is unique and reacts emotionally according to their own temperament, emotional intelligence can already be developed from birth.
The relationship between parent and baby forms the basis of developing emotional skills. The closeness of this relationship is determined by the emotional reaction of parents to their child’s needs.
“During the first 12 months, babies learn to trust or distrust,” Welma says. “Trust is the first building block of positive emotional development. If a parent reacts sensitively and without anxiety when their baby cries and then meets the needs by consoling or feeding him, he learns that he can trust the parent.”
She shares the following tips to promote Baby’s emotional intelligence:
Allow your baby to experience emotions expressed on your face and in your voice. Tune yourself to baby’s emotions like you’d tune a radio to a specific station.
You’ll then be able to recognise his emotions, whether it’s sadness, frustration or joy. Reflect this emotion with a sad face or tone of voice, or a happy face and a cheerful tone of voice.
Make sure you have a support network. A parent’s – especially a mom’s – emotional wellbeing and sense of security influences the development of the baby’s emotional intelligence.
“Don’t deny or try and pooh-pooh negative emotions and try and cover them up with positive ones,” Welma says. “First recognise the emotion by showing empathy, like, ‘You’re sad when I walk away.’ But make sure that your baby does not think you’re sad yourself, because then he won’t trust you to help him.
Play is a spontaneous, fun and active process through which thoughts, emotions, behaviour and relationships are developed in babies, says Christelle Swanepoel, an occupational therapist from Springs. “It’s important for the bond between a baby and his parents but also contributes to his entire development.” The best opportunities for play include cuddling and care as well as appropriate challenges to keep your baby interested. “Activities need to include sight, sound, touch and movement. Your baby should also be exposed to a range of colours, noises, textures, objects and situations.” Remember that your baby can easily become tired and overstimulated. Stimulating activities should be limited to short bursts of 10 to 15 minutes at first and can gradually be lengthened. “Children flourish on love and attention,” says Elsu Bakker, a children’s kineticist from Johannesburg. “When you play with your child, you pay him attention and promote his development while having fun together. Through play, you can develop your baby’s balance, hand-eye and spatial coordination, which will also improve his self-confidence.”
Babies are very interested in faces. Play and chat with him, so that he can see your face.
Change your baby’s position often, so that he can get to know his environment from different points of view, heights and corners.
Play peekaboo games with your baby.
Take your baby to a quiet place if you want to talk to him. It will help him focus.
Teach him songs and poems, and repeat them often.
Play him music, and turn the volume up from softer to louder.
Expose your baby to different textures inside your house (like pasta) and outside (like grass).
Use sponges and clothes with different textures to wash him.
Allow him to explore things with his mouth. Keep safety top of mind though, and guard against choking.
Make his tummy time fun by placing toys in front of him, so that he can press down on his arms to strengthen his back.
Support his feet so that he can move forward to reach the toys.
Help him to pull his legs into a crawling position underneath his body.
When he’s on his back, roll him to both sides with one knee drawn up across his body.
Fix a bell to his sock to encourage him to lift his legs.
Help him sit up by freeing up his arms to move and grasp at toys from all angles.
Change his position from sitting to crawling to standing.
Place objects in front of him to get him to crawl.
Push toys around, and let him crawl after them.
Let him stand up against the bath when you dress him.
Let him grasp objects on a table or pick up toys that have fallen.
Hold his hands, and help him to walk across different surfaces, inside and outside.