EXPECT SOME WOBBLES

Starting nursery school is unlikely to go completely smoothly. At the very least, you will all have to get used to a new routine, which could be a little stressful. Other – seemingly worse – obstacles may come in the way too. You can expect:

■ YOUR CHILD TO NOT CRY ON DAY ONE but be reluctant to go to school on day two, and even cry and scream. Nursery school teachers say these tears are usually transitory at the point where you must say goodbye and that children mostly settle within minutes. Arrange for the teacher to call you if your child does not settle, but keep your goodbye quick, simple and matter-of-fact. Hanging around doubtfully will not instil confidence in your child.

■ YOUR CHILD’S NAPPING PATTERN MAY BE AFFECTED. They will probably come home shattered from school in the first few weeks.

■ YOUR HEALTHY CHILD WILL SUDDENLY BECOME SICK. “Any paediatrician will tell you that this is completely normal and has to do with your child’s immature immune system,” says Cape Town based counselling psychologist Astrid Martalas. You need to sit out the storm on this one, but it may be very disruptive if you have returned to work, so be prepared for it.

These things are a normal part of the transition to nursery school, but other, more worrying things may make you wonder whether your child really is ready for school. “Stay in contact with your child’s teacher daily to find out how things are going. She will tell you if she has any serious concerns. Be on the look-out for regressive behaviour at home as well,” Astrid says.

Regressive behaviour is when young children ”lose” their acquired skills or return to the behavioural patterns of a much younger age. This could include thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, using baby language and severe separation anxiety.

Terri Heidman, a Cape Town Montessori directress who works with toddlers, says teachers should always discuss with parents if they don’t think their child is emotionally ready for school. These children, she says, are easy to spot. They are not the ones who cry when the parent leaves – many of them do – but the ones who don’t stop crying.

“Their language skills are not yet developed enough for them to verbalise what they feel, so crying is much easier for them. Generally, toddlers stop crying a few minutes after the parent has left, but if they don’t, they’re probably not ready for the break.”

Displaying any of these behaviours does not mean that your child has failed some important universal toddler test – it simply means that he or she has their own individual readiness gauge. Every child is different. Sometimes the child may not be ready at all, and sometimes the child just needs to be introduced at a much slower rate than the others.