GETTING INTO THE GROOVE

“I’m not sure that there is such a thing as ‘the right age’ for starting nursery school,” Astrid says, “because every child and each family is different. Mothers and fathers must do what feels right for them and their child.”

Part of this process is familiarising yourself with your school of choice, popping in unannounced for visits and getting a gut feel about the place. Include your child in the process, telling them what will be happening and including them in visits to the school. There will also be the gentle preparation for the coming change of routine and environment, all of which must happen in a calm, casual matter-offact way.

East London mother Shani Sanjay says: “One of the things my daughter and I played a lot when she was little was a game we called people’s jobs. Uncle so-and-so is a policeman; mommy’s job is to teach children to become clever, Granny’s job is to make us nice food and so on. She would ask what her job is, and I would say her job is to play, and it was such an important job that when she was older, she would even be able to go to nursery school. She loved playing, and this idea excited her, so there was never any worry for her before school started.”

Other ways to make the transition easier include:

■ Take your child to the nursery school a few times, and let her run around in the gardens (or hang on to your skirt if necessary) while you chat to the teachers and get a feel for what the school is like. “Make unannounced visits to the school to get a feel for how they operate,” Astrid says. School visits will allow gradual acclimatisation to the pending changes.

■ Begin practising the new routine for going to bed, waking up and getting ready a week before school starts. Tell your toddler the two of you are practising, so they feel like you’re in this together.

■ Drum up some excitement about school. Read books about starting at play school, and chat about it. Promise her she will have fun at school, because it’s true! Buy a cool new lunchbox and backpack that you know she will love.

■ If your child won’t know any other children at the school, ask the teacher whether she could introduce you to another parent, and set up a play date at which your two children can at least see one another. That way there’ll be a familiar face around in the first week, even if the children don’t necessarily hit it off in a big way.

■ Be prepared for and ask the teacher for a gradual transition time. In other words: your child will go only a few days of the first few weeks, or for only a few hours at a time.

■ Get the father to do the drop-off if possible. Men have often been taught to show fewer emotions – and there’s no umbilical cord to cut. Lift clubs have been known to be lifesavers too.

■ Ask your child’s teacher to send you a WhatsApp if she can, or phone you at break time to update you. This one is more for you than for your child!

■ Chat to parents with older kids, and you’ll soon realise that some crying at drop-off is normal and will likely pass and will soon be forgotten. Get yourself a support group of other parents in the class to talk to.

■ Reward your child. In those first few weeks, it won’t hurt to get your child a little something to show him just how proud you are of him for settling in so well.

■ Children are grumpy after school because their sugar levels are low, and they are exhausted. Have a healthy snack ready in the car to give them a lift.