Prevent & avoid & protect
Children of all ages are vulnerable to abuse. It’s a horrible issue to have to confront, but here’s why we all should.
Stranger danger is a misnomer: It’s hardly ever a stranger.
Having to talk to children about child abuse is very much like taking their favourite toy and slashing it to pieces in front of them. We want children to believe that the world is filled with beauty, love, awe and wonder. That evil coexists with good can be very difficult for a child to understand. And yet, we must put protecting our children from harm before all else, so it is crucial we find ways to talk to our children, and equip them with skills, to lessen the chance they become victims of abuse.
“I think we put undue pressure on our children to protect themselves,” says Dumisile
Nala, national executive officer of Childline. “We give our children conflicting messages: We teach them to respect their elders and not talk back, and yet we expect them to be able to shout ‘No!’ in a situation of abuse. This needs to change. We should take responsibility as adults to protect our children.”
WHAT THE NUMBERS SAY
In South Africa, we face horrendous child abuse statistics. The US child protection organisation Stop it Now! (stopitnow.org) cites studies that find that up to 93 percent of abusers are known to children, whether they are friends, relatives, or acquaintances. Reliable South African statistics are hard to come by, as abuse is vastly underreported here for a variety of reasons, including lack of faith in the justice system and fear or retribution by the perpetrator, according to Dumisile.
But what we do know is that we have one of the world’s highest rates of woman and child sexual abuse. Additionally, even in cases where abuse is reported, there is a notoriously low conviction rate of the perpetrator.
ARE STRANGERS DANGERS?
“Stranger danger” is a misnomer: It’s hardly ever a stranger. Having said that, it is of course still vital to teach children not to trust strangers implicitly, not to accept gifts or bribes from them, and not to leave safe places with strangers.
We may also think “stranger danger” is something we mostly need to talk to young girls about. Exploitation by “sugar daddies”, for example, is a pressing current problem, says Dumisile. But girls and boys of any age – as well as, of course, adults – are at risk of domestic and sexual violence.
DON’T HOLD BACK
Dumisile says, “Violence is endemic in South Africa, which suffers from a range of social ills. And the high rate of sexual violence is part of the greater problem of living in a violent society.”
These horrifying facts are our national shame. We all need to work towards eradicating this evil. Firstly, understand that you have an obligation to any child who might be in danger – under the law. According to the Children’s Act and the Sexual Offences Act, if you even suspect abuse and you fail to act, you are breaking the law.
You may remain anonymous, but you must find a police station or social worker and alert them – or phone Childline on the national toll-free number, 08000 55 555.