Q&A: Breastfeeding

It is very possible to tandem feed for many months, meeting both your toddler’s emotional need for connection with you and your newborn’s nutritional needs.

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I’m still breastfeeding my toddler, and my baby is due in a month or so. I want to try tandem feeding, but the thing that concerns me is colostrum. I know how important it is for my newborn, so how do I make sure that my toddler doesn’t drink it all? Do I just get him to lay off the breast for three days or so? It is going to be so hard to do that, as of course this is the exact time where he will need to feed, what with a new baby in the house and all! I just can’t get my head around it. Please give some practical advice.

SISTER LINDA SAYS: Congratulations on your pregnancy and doing so well with your breastfeeding journey. Tandem nursing is not uncommon or unusual and can be joyful, but it can also be stressful.

Plan before the birth of your new baby to have extra help and support available to manage your expectations. Your feelings may even change after the baby arrives. This is normal.

Express your concerns with your partner, to help you prepare for this new season of parenting. Talk to your toddler about the expected arrival of his sibling.

It is important to minimise separation from your toddler, and although in theory he’s still young enough to be breastfeeding, usually a toddler of his age will breastfeed an average of twice a day – on waking and going to bed. He’s most likely to be distracted with other activities during the day.

During your pregnancy, your supply may drop due to the different hormones in your body. Your milk may even taste different, and sometimes your first child may wean naturally. Once baby is born, he may want to resume breastfeeding when he sees his sibling nursing, for reassurance. If he is still very happy and content, and needs that closeness and comfort from you, then continue feeding him at will.

It helps create the bond between your toddler and newborn baby as you share in the experience of breastfeeding them together.

Around the sixth month of your pregnancy, your mature milk will revert to colostrum in preparation for your newborn baby. It is a special milk designed to help expel the meconium stools and provide your newborn baby with immune-boosting antibodies and specific nutrition after birth. So don’t stress. Your body knows exactly what type of milk to provide for your new baby, as the pregnancy precedes this event. And your milk will be age and development specific and appropriate for your newborn. Your toddler will most likely tolerate the changes, but your milk will still transition to mature milk as your breasts fill in the first week after birth. You will feel confident that your new baby is getting enough, because he will feed frequently throughout the day and night.

Because you may also be in hospital for some time after birth, this may provide you with more time to focus on feeding your newborn regularly. Within a few days, your milk will fill your breasts, and you will produce plenty. Your newborn will benefit from the amount of milk you provide for both your children. Managing when your toddler feeds will be a decision you will need to work out through the early days, as he requests to feed from you. It may be helpful for a family member to give attention to your older child while you feed your newborn. Distracting him with an activity or new toys that he can play with at feed times, or offering your toddler a good snack and water to drink, may help him ”wait his turn” or delay the time he spends at the breast if he feeds at the same time as your newborn.

It can also be helpful to have some time to yourself at regular intervals, even if it’s a few minutes to attend to your own personal needs. It may often feel like you are ”all touched out” after a long day, and a break when your partner can spend a short time with both children is relieving.

It is very possible to tandem feed for many months, meeting both your toddler’s emotional need for connection with you and your newborn’s nutritional needs. Trust your mothering instincts, and do what is right for you and your children. ●