Smooth move from cot to bed

Help your toddler make the big leap happily.

Making the milestone move from your toddler’s cot to his very first bed can be a proud moment for both of you, but also a bit daunting. After all, your 2-year-old has possibly only just started sleeping for a solid eight hours a night, you’ve just got rid of those dark rings under your eyes, and upsetting the hard-won routine is the last thing you want. So how do you know when your toddler is ready to leave the security of his cot, and how can you make it a happy event for both of you?

SIGNS OF READINESS

While there are no fixed rules about the best time to move your toddler to a bed, there are a few signs of readiness, and these, combined with a good dose of parental instinct, should make the transition easier.

It’s important to remember that no two children are alike. One child may literally be throwing his toys out of the cot to be in a big bed. Another may hate change and be completely unsettled by the move, in which case it would be best to wait as long as possible. But most children who show signs of readiness between the age of 2 and 3-and-a-half will handle the move well if it’s done gently.

One of the first prerequisites is that your toddler must already be sleeping well. This means he doesn’t regularly wake more than twice a night, and takes under 30 minutes to fall asleep.

According to Erica Neser, Cape Townbased author of Sleep Guide for Babies and Toddlers, parents of poor sleepers often think that moving their baby to a bed will solve their child’s sleep problems. But it doesn’t.

”Parents have usually ruled out all the possible reasons for waking (such as temperature, hunger, discomfort, pain or illness) and finally assume that the cot must be the problem. They think their toddler will sleep better in a bed, but the majority will find it harder, because now the toddler can climb out,” Erica says. It’s also not recommended that you work on sleep problems (teaching him to fall asleep by himself or sleep through the night) at the same time as moving him to a bed. One big change is enough to handle. ”Move him when he falls and stays asleep easily,” Erica advises.

The second sign of readiness is if your toddler can climb out of his cot. If he climbs out, he can fall, and the aim of the cot (to keep him in!) isn’t being achieved.

He may also physically be getting too big for a cot – another indication that it’s time for the change.

Penney Hames, a child psychologist and author of Help Your Baby To Sleep, adds that if you’ve potty-trained your child, it may be a good idea for him to be in a bed so he can access the potty or toilet at night. Finally, if your toddler is starting to ask you when he can move to a bed, it’s also a sure sign that he may be ready, as long as he’s sleeping well.

”But don’t be in too much of a hurry,” warns Erica. ”Most first-time parents are so excited about this milestone and think that from the age of 18 months to 2 years, they must move their toddler. But if he is still happy in his cot, and there is no immediate reason to move him, rather wait. Most older toddlers will be excited about the move when they are ready.”

PREPARING TO MOVE

Don’t move your toddler if there are any upheavals in your home life, like expecting a new baby. Make the transition a few months before or a few months after your baby’s arrival. ”Toddlers can be extremely possessive and will not like giving their cot to the ‘intruder’,” cautions Erica.

You can borrow a cot for your new baby and have both sleeping in cots initially. In any case, your new baby isn’t likely to sleep in the cot immediately, and your toddler could still have a few months before shifting to a bed.

At the same time, don’t move your toddler into a new room, plus a new bed, simultaneously. Rather introduce one change at a time, and have him sleep in his cot in the new bedroom for at least a few weeks.

WHEN THINGS DON’T GO AS PLANNED

There is no doubt that your toddler will feel a little uncertain at first. Even adults feel disoriented when they wake up in a strange bed! So your baby is unlikely to stay put at first. Expect him to pop out of bed, and simply put him back without too much fuss. You can either stay with him, says Erica, or go in and out of his room.

There may be two to three minutes of protest and crying, and you need to give him a chance to settle on his own if he usually does this with ease. But if he doesn’t settle and needs more security, then rather stay with him, or offer him verbal reassurance. By walking out, or leaving him to cry it out, you’re probably going to encounter greater resistance the next night. A gentle approach is best. For crying, try what Erica calls the ”disappearing chair” routine. Sit next to him, and then gradually move your chair closer and closer to the door as he settles.

It can be tricky for up to 10 days, and you’ll need to stay calm and keep telling him: ”You’re a big boy now, and it’s sleep time.” For a strong- willed child, you’ll need to be firm and resolute. Don’t give him a gap. From the age of 24 months, you should be able to make a deal with him. For example, you could say: ”I’ll stay if you keep your eyes and mouth closed. It’s sleep time now.”

But if he starts screaming and has a strong reaction to the move that lasts for longer than three days, it may be time to move him back to the cot. ”Some parents find that they make the switch to a bed prematurely. If so, bring the cot back. Just be sure to present it as another exciting change, not as a step backward in development, or a punishment. Your child will take his cues from you,” Penney advises. Many parents move their child around the age of 2 years – which coincides with the onset of night terrors and nightmares. They then worry that the move has caused the nightmares, but this is usually random. ”However, trust your gut feel,” Erica says. ”If your child was happy in the cot, and is not adjusting after 10 days, rather move him back.”

There are no indications that it’s harmful for a 3-year-old to still be sleeping in a cot, nor is there a definite cut-off age by when you should have achieved this milestone. You could even leave the move entirely up to your child; by early pre-school, he’ll probably have naturally switched to a bed anyway. You probably won’t catch many 5-year-olds boasting that they still sleep inacot!●