HOW TO MANAGE YOUR CHILD’S ‘FAILURES’

■ Don’t minimise their distress, acknowledge it.

■ Don’t patronise your child. Be honest.

■ Don’t draw attention to what you perceive as their failures.

■ Never compare them to other children. If they compare themselves to other children, point out that there are things they do well that others can’t. Make sure they know that everyone has unique abilities and talents.

■ Draw attention to your children’s attempts, as well as their successes.

■ Concentrate on their strong points and good traits – and stress those. “Fear of failure will dissipate as self-esteem improves,” says teaching expert Martie Pieterse.

■ Involve the child in analysing the cause of the failure: Did they approach the task wrongly? Would another approach have been better? What could they do in future to gain better results?

■ Encourage your child. Persuade them to try again and again. “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case you fail by default,” as Harry Potter author JK Rowling has said.