Multiple wisdom
Your bundles of joy are finally coming home. Feeling a little terrified? Experienced moms of twins share what worked for them.
FBY PAMELA KIMBERG or nine serene months you’ve been imagining the joy of bringing your newborn twins, triplets or quads home. And then the big day arrives and without all those nurses to help, no one would blame you for feeling overwhelmed. This is completely normal; remember that many parents before you have walked this path, and you have the benefit of all their experience.
Follow these tried and tested multiples parenting tips to see you calmly through the first few months at home.
ADVICE FOR THE ‘EARLY DAZE’
■ TAKE SHORT CUTS and do what suits you to make your lives easier, even if this means relaxing your standards a bit. Fiona Roberts, a mom of twins, says she turned her lounge into nursery space. She says, “At one point we had our babies sleeping in a cot in the lounge, as it meant that during the day I was within reach of the TV and radio, and I could do other things. I could also stretch out and sleep on the couch if I got a chance. I got tired of looking at those nursery walls very quickly; with two babies, I seemed to spend all day in that room.”
■ YOU MAKE THE RULES. You may want your mom around, or you may not want any visitors at all. If relatives or friends offer help, ask for pre-prepared meals for your freezer, so that you don’t have to cook. Fiona says, “I banned everyone from the house for a few months. It was too much to cope with, without having to entertain too!”
■ EVERYTHING AT HAND. Have nappies, creams and clothes laid out in an easily accessible place.
■ EASIEST FIRST. When your babies cry at the same time, settle the one who is easier to settle, first.
■ TEDDIES AT THE READY. Get your babies used to comfort objects early – blankets, teddies, and dummies. This will make them less dependent on you and encourage them to self-soothe early on.
BREASTFEEDING
■ INVEST IN A BREAST PUMP, or rent one from a hospital or medical supply company. Using a breast pump will stimulate your milk production; if you’re worried about producing enough milk for each of your babies, you’ll find it tremendously useful. It also allows you to collect and stockpile extra milk.
■ TRY TO RELAX. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. If you have older children, keep them occupied with snacks, books, their own baby dolls or even the TV.
■ EXPERIMENT WITH LOGISTICS
to find what works. Some moms of twins breastfeed both at the same time, others prefer an individual approach. There’s no single ”right way” – you have to find what works best for all of you. Explore different positions – lie down, sit up or prop the babies up with pillows. Noeleen Foster, mother of twins, says she got into a fabulous routine with her girls by breastfeeding one baby while someone else bottle fed the other. She swapped the babies around for the next feed. “This only works if you have full-time help, but it meant I breastfed for much longer than I would have if I’d had to put two babies to the breast each time,” Noeleen says.
■ DON’T BATTLE WITH BREASTFEEDING.
Most importantly, if you find that breastfeeding multiples is a struggle, don’t put yourself through anguish. Some women cope, others don’t.
Sarah, a mom to 30-month old fraternal twins, says: “I tried it for a few weeks, but then moved on to bottles. I expressed my milk into bottles a few times a day, as I felt it was important for my twins to get breast milk, but I also gradually introduced my babies to formula.”
The thing to remember is that you’re not in a “normal” situation. You’re already coping with double or triple the demands of a mom with one baby. Accept your limitations, and do what you can.
BOTTLE-FEEDING
■ START OFF WITH THE RIGHT NUMBER OF BOTTLES – eight per child, per day. So for twins: a minimum of 16. With twins, if you have two microwave sterilisers, you only need to wash bottles once a day, and then sterilise them all in two batches.
■ REFRIGERATE BATCHES OF BOTTLES Mix water and formula, and then store all the freshly made bottles in the fridge. Don’t store them in the fridge door, as it isn’t cool enough. Don’t store the bottles for more than 12 hours. Throw out what hasn’t been used after this time period.
WHAT’S THE BEST SLEEP ROUTINE?
■ ALL ABOARD. Have your babies sleep together in the same cot for the first ew months. Research has shown that w en multiples cuddle together in the wo b for nine months before birth, they are comforted by one another’s close proximity.
■ SYNCHRONISE YOUR BABIES’ ROUTINE. To do this, you have to feed them together, even if it means waking one.
■ PUT YOUR BABIES TO SLEEP atthe same time every night, and precede this with a relaxation routine.
■ SWADDLE YOUR BABIES individually in soft blankets. This helps them feel more secure.
■ KEEP THE LIGHTS DIM at night when you feed and change.
HOW TO COPE WITH INTERRUPTED SLEEP?
■ SET UP A VERY EFFICIENT ROUTINE, which will make it easier to cope with your broken sleep patterns.
■ HAVE REGULAR DAYTIME NAPS when you feel sleepy. Even 15 minutes can make a difference to your energy levels. Place your babies in a safe place, and close your eyes.
■ ACCEPT BABYSITTING OFFERS from relatives or friends to try to even out your sleep deficit.
■ SHARE THE BURDEN with your partner. Make sure you each get at least two uninterrupted nights of sleep per week, or alternatively, stagger your shift. You could give your babies their last feed at 10pm, and then sleep until 4am while your partner does the 2am feed. If you’re breastfeeding, this is still possible; express your breast milk into bottles.