Social milestones

You want your child to be able to form good relationships. So be aware of the following social milestones from early on.

YEAR 1

TALK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE Your six-month-old baby enjoys playing with you, but can become anxious with strangers. By seven months old, she’s also figured out what your tone of voice means and she knows whether you’re angry or happy. She’s capable of getting quite annoyed with you if you interfere in a game or insist on doing something she doesn’t want to do, but she adores praise. By eight months she rediscovers her friendly side and she could even initiate contact with other adults. But be warned – this friendliness may evaporate when someone tries to pick her up. Babies enjoy playing alongside other babies, not with them. She’ll stare intently at babies and take her cue from their reactions, which she might imitate, but there is no real interaction.

By nine months, a baby can work hard to gain your attention and praise. By ten months, she wants to play with you. Simple hide-and-seek or peekaboo are always winners, but she’ll also want to play alone sometimes.

At 11 months you may notice signs of a temper, but a bad mood can equally evaporate as soon as it started.

HOW YOU CAN HELP Talk to your baby as much as possible, make eye contact, attempt a conversation, and sing to your baby – and remember plenty of cuddles. Bonding with at least one adult is necessary for healthy social development, so include your baby in family life. Place her where she can observe your interactions, like at the dining table. React when she communicates with you.

Expose your older baby to interactions with peers by perhaps joining a momsand-babies group. Even though she won’t play with the other children, they’ll all observe and learn from each other.

YEAR 2

GIVE POSITIVE ATTENTION

Your tot is increasingly independent and she’ll be looking further than immediate family for social stimulation. Children still engage in parallel play at this stage, playing alongside instead of with each other. She’ll be a little shy of strangers and can be anxious around new kids her age, too. Temper tantrums are common.

HOW YOU CAN HELP Praise her kindness and gentleness when she demonstrates these – she loves positive feedback. Create an environment where she occasionally comes into contact with other children. Socialise with your own friends and family so that she can experience a wider social circle. Start teaching basic manners such as greeting visitors.

YEAR 3

ENCOURAGE SHARING

Your little one is becoming aware of others’ feelings, but in the main she’s still pretty self-centred (which is normal at this age). She’ll imitate social behaviour she’s seen in play. She still plays her own games next to her friends (who are doing the same). But she is interested in other children and she’ll imitate their play.

HOW YOU CAN HELP Let your child spend short periods of time in the company of other children her age, such as in a playgroup. While there might be a bit of tugging and pulling and arguing over favourite toys, this also provides an opportunity for children to learn important social skills such as conflict resolution strategies. Don’t intervene immediately, just encourage sharing.

YEAR 4

MAKING FRIENDS

Your child is starting to make the transition from parallel play to playing interactively with friends. As her vocabulary grows, communication becomes much easier. Through fantasy play with other children, she’s learning about cooperation and sharing. By four, your youngster is starting to show empathy if someone is upset and she’ll console a sad playmate.

HOW YOU CAN HELP Keep creating opportunities where your child can play with her peer group. When there’s an argument about turns, suggest a five-minute turn for each child, and set an example to your child by also demonstrating generosity in your daily life. Praise her for playing well with her friends.