Q&A Going home with a preemie
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I’m so scared of taking my preemie home from the Nicu. On the one hand, we’ve waited forever for this day, but I’m filled with anxiety. We live on a farm quite far from medical help, so the last two months have been very hard, as we also have a 2-year-old at home. Please empower me with practical advice. I’ve got a very good monitor, but what else do I need to stay safe and healthy? I should totally limit visitors as well, right? Does it make sense to have a nurse come and stay with us for a month or so, and where does one find such a person? Also, does my toddler pose a risk to the new baby? Should we keep him home from playschool as well?
PROF. LUBBE ANSWERS:
Taking your preemie home can indeed be a daunting experience. Suddenly, all your 24-hour support and care is gone. Now’s the time to tap into your mother instincts. You already did so by asking these questions! First determine what you don’t know, and then get the answers from reliable sources.
MONITORS AND MORE
A monitor is good if it makes you feel more in control, but even better would be to carry your little one in a baby carrier close to your chest. In this way, your preemie will remain warm (especially in winter), can feed whenever needed and will certainly sleep much better. You can then keep a close eye on them, and that will also increase the natural microbiomes (good soldiers) to keep your little one healthy. Breastfeeding (or expressed breast milk) is the best preventative medicine for any newborn. It provides all the nutrients, fluids and anti-bodies to fight infections and prevent illness.
LIMIT VISITORS AND TODDLER TROUBLE
Which brings us to visitors. Yes, limit them, at least till three months corrected age (when your preemie would have been 3 months old if born on time). Nobody who’s ill should visit, and if you fall ill, wash hands, use sanitiser, and wear a mask – especially during the Covid pandemic – but don’t stop breastfeeding. Your family have a closed group of good bacteria (your own personal bugs) that should not pose any danger to your preemie, so your toddler can also just keep up the personal hygiene, wash and sanitise hands and then rather not touch your preemie’s face and hands, but go for feet or a good cuddle instead. Your toddler needs to bond with the preemie and be part of the care. You can even get your toddler a doll he can care for when you care for the preemie to keep him busy and help him to accept the new baby and build a good sibling relationship.
If you can keep your toddler out of school at least till summer, that will be very beneficial for you all. Toddlers do carry germs from other children they come into contact with at school, and that may cause illness in your home. Your toddler will not miss out on school if he’s only 2 years old.
HELP AT HOME SO YOU CAN FOCUS
A nurse at home is not required, but given your situation, a nanny may be a useful option to consider.
You may want to consider someone who won’t travel too much, to limit exposure to other sick people.
A nurse at home is only needed if you have a sick baby or if you need extra hands in the case of twins or triplets.
If you have a close family member whom you feel comfortable having around for an extended period of time, such as a gogo or auntie, make use of them. Their role would be taking care of your household and the toddler to enable you to focus on being a mother to your preemie. Ensure that you have a good support system. You can phone the Nicu at any time if you have questions, or you can join a Facebook preemie parenting support group for advice from other preemie parents and healthcare professionals. The most important thing is to focus on your baby, trust your mother instinct – and enjoy your little one. Good luck! ●