The four styles of parenting
In psychology today, there are four recognised styles of parenting, each with its own characteristics. Each style has a different approach to discipline and each likely to spark different responses in your children. The various approaches can even influence your child’s behaviour and temperament into adulthood.
1
AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING is where you set the rules and expect the children to follow them without question. There’s little room for negotiation, and you may use punishments to get your kids to do what you want. These children may grow up following the rules but are prone to self-esteem problems, and may misbehave when they’re away from you.
2
AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING also involves rules that children are expected to follow, but you allow exceptions to the rules and also explain why the rules are in place with open communication. You use positive consequences to reinforce good behaviour and, as a result, your children often grow up to be happy and successful. Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most effective and beneficial parenting style for children.
3
PERMISSIVE PARENTS don’t offer much discipline, are usually lenient and only step in when there’s a serious problem. There are usually few consequences for bad behaviour. These children may not appreciate authority or rules and may exhibit more behavioural problems.
4
UNINVOLVED PARENTS tend to be neglectful and often don’t meet their children’s basic needs. They may expect children to raise themselves. This is one of the most harmful styles of parenting for the child. Needless to say, children of uninvolved parents tend to exhibit frequent behavioural problems, perform poorly academically and have low self esteem.
If one of you intends being a permissive parent, while the other imagines being an authoritarian parent, this can lead to a lot of conflict in your relationship – and is outright bad for your child. By discussing beforehand what type of parent you think you’ll be, you’ll have the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation with your partner that isn’t clouded by fatigue, hormones and the stress of adjusting to a new baby.