BIG KID STUFF

How and when do you teach those all-important life skills? We asked parents and experts for tips that work.

...COUNT

Action songs, games and rhymes are a great way to help your child understand the concept of counting, and you can do them anywhere! Kumbi Milazi, a primary school teacher from Johannesburg, suggests, “Let your child sort out her toys by counting them into piles – two teddies, five dolls, ten crayons etc. – or let her help you in the kitchen as she counts utensils for washing up or plates for the table. Repetition is very important in a child’s learning, so these exercises need to be repeated again and again.”

Older children can play a guessing game. Your child thinks of a number between one and 10. Try to guess the number by asking questions such as: “Is it between three and six?” and “Is it greater than seven?” Then switch roles, and let your preschooler do the guessing.

...DRESS HERSELF AND TIE HER SHOELACES

Getting a child dressed in the morning can be a lengthy and frustrating process! Help your toddler by giving her bottoms with elastic waists, pull-on tops, and Velcro-close shoes to minimise morning struggles. Introduce new challenges – a single large button, or a big popper – one at a time. Practise dressing when there is not a rush for time by playing dressup games. Let her dress up in grown-up clothes. She will also learn about textures and colours, and just have fun.

Teach your child to tie her shoelaces using traditional flat ones, as these are easier to use and stay tied for longer than fashion shoelaces.

Mom Kelly says: “My children had an easier time learning to tie their shoes by starting with something larger than a shoelace. I tied a jump rope around their legs, then the learning process of tying shoes is done on a large scale. Once they had the movements down, they easily switched to a shoelace.”

...HAVE ROAD SENSE

Introduce your child to the basics of road safety from an early age. Engage her in what you are doing. For example, while you are driving, talk about stopping at red lights and stop signs and explain why. Make it a habit to stop, look and listen for cars before you cross the road – ask her to tell you when it is safe to cross.

Teach your child the following unbreakable rules:

• Never to run into the street (for example while chasing after a ball or a pet).

• Never play along the road, especially near a blind corner.

• Cross only at traffic lights, zebra crossings and overhead bridges.

• Look to make sure the street is clear to cross, even if traffic lights show green to cross.

“When we go for a walk, we give our 2-year-old three choices: walk carefully on the pavement, be carried or hold one of our hands. This way she feels empowered to make choices and begins to understand the need to be safe,” says Nigel, father to Tom (2) and Sarah (8 months).

“After reading this top tip in your magazine, I taught my daughter to always put her hand on the car while I’m getting ready to put her in her car seat or after I’ve taken her out and I’m still locking up. This prevents her wandering off or running into traffic while I’m distracted,” says Rose, mom to Lindiwe (3).

...WRITE AND RECOGNISE HER OWN NAME

Kumbi says, “Introduce the alphabet by singing the alphabet song. Teach her the sounds of the letters and write them on different pieces of paper. Play around with the letters and let her re-arrange them correctly. If she does not do it correctly, don’t give negative comments, as this may frustrate her, and she may lose interest.” Give your child many opportunities to try out crayons and paints, as this will encourage her writing, or let her “draw” her name in sand or shaving foam. The most important thing you can do is let your child learn at her own pace.

“I have lots of pens, pencils, paper and crayons lying around the house so that my girls can draw and scribble whenever they want. I always write their names on the top of their creations and display them. I also label everything – place mats, plates, cups, cupboards, beds – with their names. They very quickly learnt to associate the letters of their names with themselves,” comments Lynne, mother to Amy (4), Emma (3) and Jessica (18 months).

...RIDE A BIKE

Alistair, dad to Daniel (3), insists that the key to teaching his son to ride a bike was to teach him how to balance, scooter-style, first. “First we taught Daniel to ride a JD Bug balance bike – it does not have pedals or support wheels, and you learn to ride it like a scooter. He learnt how to balance first and how to stop himself from falling over. We then added the wheels, and he is learning to pedal without the fear of falling.”

Other tips for bike riding include:

• The bicycle should be small enough so that both feet are on the ground when sitting on the bike.

• Don’t add pedals until she has learnt to balance – this lets her feel safe and gives her control of the stopping and starting and steering.

• Practise in an area without a lot of things around to crash into, like an open field, grassy parking lot or driveway.

• Start in an area with a slight incline so that she can build up some momentum.

• Let her try out the handbrakes so she knows how to stop, or show her how to slow down by dragging her foot on the ground.

• Avoid baggy clothing and tuck in her shoelaces before you get started.

• Your child should always wear a helmet.

...USE CUTLERY

“Children learn best through experimentation, copying and repetition,” Kumbi says, “so let her watch you as you eat, and then let her try it out herself.” Introduce cutlery early on, and let your child take part in a meal, even if she has already eaten. This will encourage good eating habits too.

“Aidan (3) and Kael (23 months) love to be ‘big boys’ and copy what we are doing, so we decided it was time for a family meal. When we sit down together for dinner, we light a candle and set proper places for them. Not only does it bond us as a family, it gives the boys the chance to use ‘grown up’ cutlery too – it can be messy, but they love it,” Dad Peter says.

...SHARE TOYS

Sharing is a very difficult concept for small children to understand.

• PRACTISE TAKING TURNS You turn one page of your child’s bedtime book, and she turns the next. Or you stack a block on top of hers, then she stacks another on top of yours. She’ll begin to learn that taking turns and sharing can be fun.

• LEAD BY EXAMPLE Share your ice cream with her, offer her your scarf to wear, and ask if you can try on her hat. Bring the word “share” into your everyday conversations. Most important is to let her see you give and take and share with others.

• TALK IT UP Talk about the feelings that come up around sharing. For example: “Sipho loves his car, and he really wants to push it at the moment.” Help her put her own feelings into words too: “I know you want your doll,” or “You’re sad because Freya took your car.” Give your child plenty of praise when she does loosen her grip on something.

Fee, mom to twins Sophia and Aaron (5) and Elijah (16 months) says, “My twins always want the toy that the other one has, so we have a 10-second rule. One child can play with the toy for 10 seconds, then has to give it over for 10 seconds.” ●