A NEW SIBLING

LESSON We are all special in our own way.

■ INVOLVE THE CHILD FROM THE START The sooner you tell your child, the more time he has to adjust to the change that will enter his life. Announce the coming of the new baby in a positive manner. “You are going to be a big brother. We are going to have a new little person in our family.”

■ SCHEDULE INDIVIDUAL TIME As time for Baby’s arrival nears, arrange a schedule that will enable you to maintain the special time you need with your firstborn. This may be reading a bedtime story and having a night-time massage. If you are able to give him 30 minutes on his own with you each day, he will benefit in abundance. Find a way; perhaps an auntie or Gogo could tend to baby for you at that time.

■ TOKEN GIFT You can give your child a gift from their new sibling as a symbol of love and happiness for being their little brother or sister.

■ ALWAYS TIME FOR A CUDDLE Let your child know that he doesn’t need to act out for attention, because in your family, “There’s always time for a cuddle.” Tell him to let you know when he needs a hug or kiss, and you’ll arrange to give him one. Don’t be afraid to ask for one yourself or to offer one when you feel it is needed.

■ PULL IN THE BACK-UP Ask all the family and friends to pay your child special attention when they come to visit Baby. Tell those you feel you can to please bring him a little treat if they bring one for Baby.

■ APPRECIATE JEALOUSY Itisa valuable messenger. Try not to judge it or label it as ugly. It is normal for the child. He is feeling displaced. This is not a lasting trait. Be calm and matter-of-fact about understanding his feelings. Be kind but firm about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. For example, “It is okay to come and tell me that you’re angry that I’m spending so much time with Baby, but it is not okay to hit Baby.” The bottom line? Talk the talk. The tough times are like sandpaper… They rub away the rough bits and help your child shine. ●