Bad habits BEGONE THUMB SUCKING STRUGGLES
Are those nasty toddler habits driving you up the wall? Here is some practical advice on how to stop them once and for all.
A thumb sucking baby is considered cute, but a thumb sucking toddler not so much.
WHY? Sucking is instinctive in babies, bringing comfort and soothing. The sucking action is soothing and helps your baby relax as he falls off to sleep.
EXPERTS SAY Thumb sucking well into toddlerhood can hinder proper mouth and tooth development. Don’t belittle your child. Rather look at rewarding him when he doesn’t suck his thumb. ”It’s important to acknowledge positive toddler behaviour by being specific in your praise,” recommends educational psychologist Melanie Hartgill. “Parents’ comments and reinforcement are what help teach the right behaviour.”
MOMMY TIP “I made a deal with Casey that for every time she went without sucking her thumb, she would get a gold star sticker. Her stickers eventually added up to a bigger reward.” – Janet
WHINING WORRIES
It’s one thing to let them get away with it at home, but public whining can be embarrassing, leaving you desperate to do what it takes to make it go away.
WHY? Whining is your toddler’s way of expressing his frustration at not being able to communicate his needs effectively. It’s also a way of expressing hunger or tiredness.
EXPERTS SAY Dr Di Shand, a Joburgbased educational psychologist, says you should not give in to whining. Use a low voice, communicating in a firm yet gentle manner to your child that you will not respond to him until the whining stops.
MOMMY TIP “When my 3-year-old starts whining, I let him know I can’t understand him. I ask him to use his normal voice, and then I will listen. Ignoring him until he complies does eventually work.” – Audrey
HEADBANGING HYSTERIA
A small percentage of children make headbanging a ritual behaviour, leaving parents baffled.
WHY? Headbanging is a sign of anxiety, temper or frustration. A child also knows it’s a good way of getting attention and is usually aware of how hard he can bang his head without hurting himself. It’s a way to self-soothe or distract him from the pain of an ear infection or teething, or it could be merely the need to sleep.
EXPERTS SAY “You should try to stop the habit by gently rubbing your child’s back until he is calm again or falls asleep,” Di says. Give your child positive attention when he’s not headbanging. Your tot may just enjoy the rhythmic motion of headbanging, so try getting him involved in other rhythmic activities like dancing or drumming. If headbanging is a constant behaviour, Melanie advises that it should be investigated further with a trained professional. It could hint at developmental problems.
MOMMY TIP “It was disturbing to have Malcolm hitting his head against the wall as a way to get to sleep. I began a new bedtime routine, starting off with a bath, then rocking him in my arms for a bit, before settling down to read a story. I also gently rubbed his back until he fell asleep.” – Nerine
WHINING IS YOUR TODDLER’S WAY OF EXPRESSING HIS FRUSTRATION AT NOT BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE HIS NEEDS EFFECTIVELY.
BREATH-HOLDING BADDIE
If your toddler throws tantrums leading to a breath-holding episode, it can be extremely frightening. If it happens regularly, you must address the behaviour now.
WHY? It’s a way of releasing anger and frustration. A child resorts to this behaviour because he feels it’s the only way to take control of the situation. It might be a way of getting attention as well.
EXPERTS SAY Di warns that giving in to this habit reinforces it. Speak to your child gently yet firmly while you try to soothe and calm him. Ignore the habit, but keep a watchful eye on your child. When it’s over, don’t make a fuss over him, and don’t give in to demands. Your toddler needs to learn that the behaviour was pointless and offered no rewards.
MOMMY TIP “I learnt not to overly react to my 2-year-old’s breath-holding tantrums, and she soon realised Mommy was not going to listen until things calmed down and returned to normal.” – Sharla
NIGHT-TIME BOTTLE NAG
He may be getting his nourishment from the usual family meals and odd snacks in between but still insists on that night-time bottle.
WHY? Just as with the dummy, your toddler finds the sucking action from a bottle very soothing. Often the bottle becomes an easy way for a child to comfort himself and fall asleep with no fuss.
EXPERTS SAY Di says that from 1 year, a child can be encouraged to drink from a cup and slowly be weaned from a bottle by the age of 2 years. She says, “If he’s drinking more milk, it means he is eating fewer solids than he should be. Make sure his nutritional requirements are adequately met. ”Don’t let your child fall asleep with the bottle in the mouth, as this could accelerate tooth decay.
MOMMY TIP “To get my son to stop calling for a night-time bottle, I simply replaced night feeds with water bottles and he soon realised that it wasn’t worth waking up for water.” – Lizelle
NOSE-PICKING NASTIES
Your toddler slipping his finger into his nose whenever he can, including in front of company is hard to ignore.
WHY? Toddlers may do it out of boredom, curiosity or simply because of an itchy nose or dried-up snot causing discomfort.
EXPERTS SAY It might be difficult, but Melanie suggests that as far as possible try to ignore the unpleasant habit, as a parent’s attention is the most powerful way to influence a toddler’s behaviour. “Negative attention by a parent is sometimes preferred to no attention. Keep this in mind when rewarding misbehaviours through attention. Instead, provide lots of hugs and praise for every positive toddler behaviour.”
MOMMY TIP “I explained to my children that by picking their nose, they could hurt themselves and spread germs. Giving them a tissue and showing them how to blow their nose is a good way to go.” – Hayley
TODDLERS ARE QUICK TO PICK UP BAD LANGUAGE FROM THOSE AROUND THEM AND LIKELY TO UTTER THESE JUICY NEW WORDS AT THE MOST INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS.
POTTY-MOUTH TOTS
Toddlers are quick to pick up bad language from those around them and likely to utter these juicy new words at the most inopportune moments.
WHY? Children don’t really know the meaning of the nasty words they say but rather enjoy the attention it brings.
EXPERTS SAY Don’t pay attention to the behaviour. Tell your child in a calm but firm manner that such language is not acceptable and of course refrain from swearing in front of little children.
MOMMY TIP “Every time my 4-year-old felt the need to call someone or something a ‘poo-poo head,’ he went without any sweet treats while the rest of the family enjoyed theirs.” – Nozie
TABLE-TIME IDLER
Mealtimes with your toddler can be frustrating, especially if he decides to play with his food rather than eat it.
WHY? It could be your toddler is not hungry at the time and so plays with his food to pass the time.
EXPERTS SAY Don’t force your child to eat; rather be encouraging. “Give him a choice, such as eating two portions of veggies out of three. Giving a choice is better than forcing him to eat,” Di says. Don’t punish your child by repeatedly bringing out the food to eat if he doesn’t want to. Rather do a time-out and take away pleasures. If he’s not eating, ensure there is nothing else to eat until the next meal.
MOMMY TIP “Nira, my 4-year-old, can be impossible at the table, playing with rather than eating her food. If she doesn’t want to eat, that is fine, but she doesn’t get any dessert or other snacks in between either. She is coming round to the idea that at mealtimes, she needs to eat.” – Aliya
NIGHT-WANDERING WOES
You may think your little one is sound asleep at night, but then you hear little feet making their way to your bedroom.
WHY? It could be he is still getting used to sleeping on his own or may be seeking out comfort after a nightmare.
EXPERTS SAY Each time your child comes to you, take him back to his room, put him back to bed and say goodnight. It could mean you have to do this 10 times a night.
Be consistent – don’t let him sleep in your bed one day and not the next.
The transition from cot to bed might not be easy for your little one.
Ensure you keep your bedtime routine the same as before and make him feel more secure with a favourite blankie or toy.
MOMMY TIP “I tell my 3-year-old each time he runs to my room that he is a big boy now and must go back to his own bed. He listens.” – Fiona ●