THINK IT THROUGH BEFORE YOU EMPLOY

KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.

Start as you mean to go on. And don’t fall in the trap of thinking you want someone who will be part of the family. Family members help themselves to the contents of the fridge.

Family members borrow each other’s clothes and make-up... The boundaries get blurred, and mixed messages are sent. This does nobody any favours. A clearly defined working contract setting out the rights and obligations of each party will go a long way to keeping the relationship ticking nicely. Keep the boundaries firmly in place.

PAY PROPERLY AND TIMEOUSLY. And don’t expect your domestic worker to work overtime without paying her.

COMMUNICATE CLEARLY AND PLAINLY WITH YOUR NANNY.

You can use a book to communicate with one another. Do not patronise the nanny, and speak kindly even when you are emotional. She is a human being with her own set of feelings and concerns.

Remember that if your children have a nanny, they are probably getting the best care they can. Their relationship with the nanny is individual and has its own dynamic. Just as you are not in control of the relationship your child has with the other parent, or with grandparents, you cannot dictate how the relationship will work. Your child is learning and gaining from the extra bond.