Zululand Observer - Monday

Scraping the bottom of the buyers’ barrel

- Val van der Walt

Everybody nowadays is virtually forced to crawl through that cesspit known as Facebook.

Apparently, if you’re not on there, you will be deemed not to exist because you wouldn’t know that Rachel in reception’s daughter got 10 out of 10 for her spelling test – for the 25th time this year - and is ‘Mummi’s fabulas litle genious’.

Even car makers have to negotiate the lth, or else they will not sell a single vehicle, according to 20-year-old, gecko skinned marketing gurus.

But while you and I can tell Rachel in reception that she should perhaps ask her Grade 1 daughter for some spelling lessons, and then sit back and wait for Rachel to end the friendship, car makers are not as lucky.

They have to suffer through it. No matter if a comment comes from someone who’s intellectu­al capacity will make a common garden slug roll over and laugh, a car maker has to put up with it

Knorrox and beans

Recently, a post on Audi SA’s of cial Facebook page, about the A1 hatch, caught my attention.

It contained the usual car dealer marketing propaganda, making it sound like when Jesus comes, He will buy an A1 and shout ‘Hallelujah!’, and then drive off listening to harp music via the Bluetooth connection to his smartphone.

So I got bored and scrolled down to read the comments.

They were not easy to decipher, most having been made by people who obviously got through school only because the teacher was sick of them drooling on the oor and making cow noises.

But with the patience of a castrated Buddhist monk on cannabis, Audi replied to each and every comment.

No matter if it was obviously coming from an individual whose IQ level can be measured in the same way as the thread on a taxi’s tyres, Audi felt it necessary to engage them.

‘Yes sir, the new A1 is more advanced than your Toyota Conquest because it has ABS, EBD, ANC, EFF…..

‘Please visit your nearest dealership and ask for a test drive so as to experience this marvellous car for yourself ’.

Come on, Audi! For crying out loud…! Anybody comparing a claptrap Conquest with a new A1 will only ever go inside your dealership if their brakes fail and they crash into the showroom.

Each and every post was along those lines;

‘Ma’am, your Geely is a nice car but the A1 has airbags, ABS, EBD, ANC, EFF…’

Why Audi?

If you really have to, then explain it in such a way that they can understand;

‘Dear average person (being very kind there), your Geely is Knorrox and beans, while the A1 is the spicy zinger wing of hatches.’

Brand bashers

If car dealers will just apply an ounce of common sense they will know that the people who can afford cars, are able to do so because they work very hard, and therefore don’t have the time to camp out on Facebook the whole day.

Why entertain stupid?

And even worse, open yourself to brand bashers because, between the idiots there were also a number of people who called the A1 just short of being the worst thing with wheels since the wheel, and that’s absolute rubbish.

The A1 is a wonderful car and it shouldn’t be necessary for Audi to scrape the bottom of the buyers’ barrel.

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