My mother is planning a life for me - I don’t want her dream

‘I DON’T want to be a doctor, but my mother is obsessed with the idea.‘Sometimes I feel I should fail my matric examinations on purpose, just to prove a point to her,’

Writing final matric examinations can be a stressful period for most pupils.

They are constantly motivated to focus and work hard to achieve great results which will define their future as well as be a step closer towards their dreams.

Even though it’s a nerve-racking time, for most pupils, they get strength and motivation from imagining their future and achieving those dreams.

But for Grade 12 leaner Sphumelele (18), it means working hard to achieve her mother’s dream.

She is caught between the rock and a hard place, and faced with a dilemma to choose between her dreams or her parents.

Her mother, a nursing sister wants her to follow the family’s legacy and become a medical practitioner.

Sphumelele’s grandfather is a retired well known Zululand doctor.

‘My grandfather wanted my mother to be a doctor just like him but her marks didn’t allow her to attend medical school. He was disappointed when my mother became a nurse.

‘Over the years, my mother always believed she broke my grandfather’s heart and now I am being forced to be something I am not.

‘She is trying to fix her dream by using me – a dream long gone.

‘No matter how much I say it, she doesn’t seem to understand.

The thought of being surrounded by sick people day in, day out terrifies me. I would be a terrible doctor because it’s not what I want.

‘My mother doesn’t really care about how I feel, as long as she will have an educated daughter to show off in the family.

‘She is obsessed with the idea and does everything to ensure this happens.

‘She headed my application process, chose where my focus should be and even where to study.

‘The problem is I get great marks owing to my photographic memory, and to her this is the sign that I am smart,’ she said.

According to Sphumemele, her dream is to become a fashion and travel writer.

‘I want to travel the world and review top runway and fashion shows. In my room I have stacks of magazines and have a pile of creative work – I think I’m pretty good at it,’ she giggles.

‘I want to travel the world and meet interesting people while working for a huge international magazine.

‘I have shown my work to friends and teachers and they believe I should enroll for creative writing and communications studies.

‘They think I have what it takes to become a great writer but my mother doesn’t want to hear of it.

‘What am I to do? Maybe failing my examinations on purpose will show her how serious I am,’ cried Sphumelele. Do you want to tell your tale in our ‘My Story’ feature with the objective of raising awareness and understanding of different life experiences? Email zulobs@zob.co.za