Abused women can break the cycle of domestic violence
LIVING a life of domestic violence is a choice.
That is according to activist Michelle Michael, who addressed a Women’s Day event in Richards Bay where she shared her personal experience of abuse and how she eventually escaped it.
She recalled how every time she was beaten, she thought it was because her partner loved her, and it was only until she broke the cycle that things began to change in her and her children’s lives.
‘I allowed the abuse. No one can do anything to hurt you unless you allow it.
‘Women’s Month is just once a year when everyone shouts ‘enough is enough’, but what happens the rest of the year?
‘We focus on our broken women, but where are the women who raise broken men who in turn hurt our women and young girls.
‘Abuse starts in the home. When the foundation we set in the home is a shaky one, that foundation determines the direction our children’s lives will take. Unfortunately a foundation that does not have God in it, is an unstable one,’ said Michael.
Having lived in an abusive relationship for 12 years, Michael, who is a police officer with the South African Police Services, believed this was the norm, but the cycle of abuse overwhelmed her.
‘It starts with us. I lived a life of domestic violence because the foundation in my life was shaky. My abuser was a broken man, but I didn’t know that. He abused me in different ways.
‘There are so many factors that keep women in abusive situations. As women we need to come together and take messages of hope and information to the masses.
‘It is sad that women do not support domestic violence awareness initiatives, but it is those who need the help the most who do not come out. They opt to stay in denial. We have the responsibility to keep going out there and taking the message to them.
‘We walked in Durban on 1 August. More than 7 000 women united as one voice and handed over a memorandum to a man because it is time for them to protect us.
‘We all know the strength we possess as women, but when we are in a state of misery we forget our strength.
‘Each and every one of us has a responsibility to the next person and as women we have to adopt a spirit of sisterhood.
‘You never know what one kind word can do to change another woman’s situation.’