Absent fathers, criminals and the stigma of being a single father

THERE’S a clear link between the relationship children have with their fathers and how likely they are to commit a crime — either as a child or later in life.

Studies have shown that youths with the highest incarceration rates are those who never had a father living with them.

Among female inmates, more than half come from absent-father homes.

In my work with juvenile inmates in South Africa’s prisons, and learning more about their childhood, it almost always involves an absent, neglectful or abusive father.

Very few of them have had a father to guide, support and encourage them. A father to show them right from wrong, and to demonstrate this in his own actions.

And it’s not just about biological fathers - the young people I work with tend not to have positive male role models in their lives generally.

The men they do interact with often promote arrogant and chauvinistic behaviour as a minimum.

In worst case scenarios, they are misogynistic, abusive and violent.

When I was growing up, I was betrayed by the adult men I confided in when I hit adolescence. I thought beating a woman was normal; I witnessed it all the time. None of the men in my life taught me differently.

These incidents have an enormous impact on how young people learn to behave and what they believe to be acceptable.

South Africa’s long-standing and ongoing gender-based violence epidemic has inevitably led to a mistrust between men and women.

This epidemic, combined with traditional patriarchal views on the roles of men and women, which are deeply entrenched in South African culture, has contributed to a scepticism towards single fathers.

Being a single father in South Africa is often seen as taboo, especially if the child is a girl.

I’ve even had the police come to my door for no other reason than my neighbours thought my situation was unusual - and that something must therefore be wrong.

I think South Africa is seeing signs of change. A new generation of fathers is emerging; men who are looking back at the behaviour of their own fathers and deciding to change the narrative.

We don’t want to be absent or abusive. We want to be present, engaged, a force for good.

We want to protect our children from harm, give them a fair chance in life, and guide them away from the influences that may lead them to crime and incarceration.

There’s hope for transformation, but it is our collective responsibility, in our families, communities and broader society, to create it.

Issues at stake “According to Stats SA, half of all children in South Africa don’t live with their biological fathers. This has farreaching implications,” says Gosiame Masike, head of Heartlines’ Department of Correctional Services unit