Five ways to boost your body confidence

Body confidence is a topic that all of us can relate to on some level or another.

For some, it may be part of a serious problem, like body dysmorphia, eating disorders and social anxiety, while for many others, it might just be that niggling insecurity and feeling that you don't quite measure up.

Either way, how we feel about our bodies can have a big impact on our lives, affecting everything from our relationships, our career choices and our health.

Body confidence is a very individual, and sometimes complex thing, but here are five things that have really helped me. Do you have any tips of your own to share?

Be your own best friend

We can be incredibly mean to ourselves, telling ourselves we're 'disgusting', and 'a disgrace'. When you're ashamed of your body, it's easy to fall into the trap of believing you're not worthy and don't deserve to feel good or have fun. Overcoming this takes ongoing effort, but a very useful trick is simply to speak to yourself as you would a friend. Imagine your friend was feeling insecure about themselves and how they look - what would you say? You'd reassure them they're beautiful, remind them of their many good points and that, no matter what, they're wonderful and valued. Maybe you'd offer to accompany them on walks or to a gym class, if they're stuck in an inactive rut and not sure how to break the cycle. How about trying this approach with yourself? Being kinder. Being your own best friend. After all, you don't punish and hate your friends for having so-called flaws (and by flaws, I mean being human), so why punish and hate yourself? It might feel silly, or pointless, at first, but changing the language you use to speak to yourself can make a dramatic difference to your thought processes and even your brain chemistry. Eventually, giving yourself a reassuring pep talk (a verbal hug, I like to call it) will come far more naturally.

Shift your focus

I have always loved swimming, but there was a time when the sheer dread of getting changed and wearing a cossie in front of other people dominated the activity. School swimming lessons induced intense anxiety, and I wasn't the only one inventing elaborate excuses to get out of them. The thing is though, it's actually very normal to feel slightly uncomfortable being seen in swimwear - we're used to being far more covered up. And that's ok. Learning to accept a degree of discomfort can be a very healthy thing, as it frees us up to realise it's not that big a deal. It's when this discomfort gets so distorted that it spills over into everyday life, becomes all we can think about and stops us taking part in activities we might enjoy, that it's a problem.

Reminding myself why I love swimming, really focusing on the peacefulness of the water, how amazing it feels to master that tricky stroke, how invigorated I am after a good dip, has meant that gradually, worrying how I look while doing it has become less and less important. Now I recognise that swimming gives me confidence, rather than sapping it. It takes time to get used to doing something that once filled you with dread, but stick with it - focussing on those positive rewards - and you'll be amazed by how much you can re-train your mind.

Don't confuse perfection

and confidence

This is so important, but something that takes many of us a long time to truly realise. But 'perfection' does not equate confidence, and vice versa. Firstly, the notion of perfection is a dangerous one, because it doesn't really exist. We all know by now that those glossy ads in magazines are photoshopped, celebs spend hours in make-up before hitting the red carpet, and super-models are paid to sell products, not set weight-related benchmarks for the rest of us.

Secondly, and far more importantly, is that it doesn't need to exist, because you really do not need to be perfect. Many of us go through phases of thinking, 'If only I had slimmer thighs then I'd feel confident'. That friend of yours who already has the 'perfect' thighs and nose though, you can guarantee they've had her own set of insecurities to contend with. There is nothing wrong with recognising that physical appearance and confidence are closely linked and doing things to feel better about your body, like exercising and choosing clothes that make you feel, is all useful and important. But remember that perfection and confidence are two very different things; perfection is irrelevant, but confidence is something you can actively pursue.

Widen your horizons

A big part of building body confidence, funnily enough, is to stop thinking of it as body confidence. Instead, think of it as general confidence. Addressing things on the outside - be that losing weight or getting help with a skin complaint that's affecting you psychologically, might really help you feel better about yourself and that's great, but we can all benefit from working on our inner confidence too. When we're confident on the inside, we're better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at us. Challenges are a normal part of life, and some of these - like illness, injuries and even pregnancy - may alter how we look, so it's important that your self-worth starts from within. There's no simple secret to inner confidence, but broadening your horizons - taking up hobbies, learning a new skill, embracing things you're passionate about - is a great start. Developing interests will help you build on values beyond the physical; like trust, creativity and humour.

Be a team

Our bodies can really let us down sometimes, can't they? From farting in a yoga class to zits popping up before a big date, and even more serious stuff, like the tumours and heart attacks that strike without warning. But, no matter what, you and your body are a team. You're in it together, so it really does help if you're on the same side. And sometimes, we don't give our bodies enough credit - they really are capable of amazing things. Nurturing that connection teaches you to respect your body, and respect yourself as a whole too. You don't need to live like a saint or go to extremes, but getting into the habit of doing regular exercise, thinking about eating well and giving yourself the fuel you need, getting enough sleep and making time to relax, will boost your body and mind.