MAFIOSI IN CONFLICT
On a ‘rights’ issue one lot is doing somersaults to oust another
The owl and the pussycat lazed in the shallow bowels of their hired boat rocking gently in the water. Tired of their job in pest control at the Wallside Restaurant and Bar and on-the-house beer, Tommo and Ooty had been aching for a change of some sort. And what better than boating or rather floating in the Parliament Lake? True, there was no chance of a row in their pea-green boat they abandoned a few years ago, but a hired boat of any size, colour and shape was as good though not as distinctive as the pea-green one.
Free on the Lake
“This is heavenly, it’s so much better than guzzling beer in that smelly Wallside kitchen,” meowed Tommo the pussycat beneath a wide sombrero. He was languidly trailing a paw in the water. “Just look at the heaps and heaps of water around us, Ooty. With no bodies rushing and pushing a couple of feet away, nothing beats boating. Oh I love it. And it gives a great, great sense of freedom.” The two pals were quite alone on the water the only other evidence of life on the Lake being a couple of fibre-cast swans paddling in inches and a boat with a sail trying vainly to grab a whiff of polluted wind a long way off. “More of our governors should try boating,” commented pussy.
“Thuhooot! You can’t expect all our governors take to boating. There aren’t enough boats for everybody, some governors are scared of water, others get boat-sick or don’t have the will to paddle or mind the sails.”
“Huh-haaaah. Are saying our governors are scared stiff of their governors at the top and don’t feel free living in their country?”
Majority governors’lot is extremely painful
“Yeah,” said the owl. “I have heard many governors moan they no longer live in a democracy but in a set-up controlled by a family-ship. Can’t blame the beggars, white vans are still cruising around and governors are taken on joyless rides, or get nicked from courts in front of everybody. It is also rumoured that others visit the land of the dead never to return. Nobody really knows who’s responsible, but flying guesses point right.”
The Suddah Mafia have special reasons to keep punching the local mafia. And the pressure is such; some governors say the local Mafia days are numbered and that an earthquake in their set-up might happen sooner than thought
“Whoom, whoom! Our governors are being booted around so much I feel their lokkas have dumped their law books and constitutional papers somewhere and forgotten where. Freedom? Tosh! Our governors don’t have the freedom you and I have, Tommo. Worse, I hear that some governors imagine they’ll be put under house arrest, chained to bedposts, or told to shut up or else if they bat an eye lid.” The owl had been pinched into awareness of current affairs simply by listening to freedom woes voiced by thirsty governors frequenting the Wallside Bar.
The blessed ones
“Purrrshsh!” exclaimed the pussy. “That, I am sorry to say, is a load of tat in tatters. Our governors have a whole lot of freedom even angels can only dream of. For example I have heard of governors cutting trees in forest reservations no-one is allowed to enter. They not only cut trees, they build roads to transport the stuff they cut. Other governors mine gravel, sand and gems digging craters all over the place. Some chase down treasures they think are hidden in temples and caves. Others collect small animals for export or hunt protected animals for skins, meat for side dishes and for fun. But hardly anybody gets hauled up for fouling the law. If they are, some politicca or lokka from somewhere or other makes sure the freedom of their club members swinging in their democracy remains undisturbed so they can carry on swinging.” “But…but that’s crazy…toot!” “No it’s not. It’s total and absolute freedom sponsored by gangs of politiccas and lokkas in a system they keep calling a democracy that should be renamed an ‘anything-goes villain-cracy’ in which you can do what you want no questions asked. If you are a top government wallah, the range of what can be done in absolute freedom hits the stars. You can break up a peaceful protest using armed thugs in uniform or by shooting ammonia water, you can increase prices of stuff overnight, you can shoot up fuel prices, stop buying farm- ers’ paddy, devalue the rupee, increase taxes, stop imports, crimp from provident funds in total freedom. You are also free to kidnap fellows for ransom, elope with someone’s wife or go on all-expenses- paid trips to US, Europe or Bangkok with a film idol in tow. There’s no problem at all in being a king in the kudu, ganja, and tart market either. Want it easier? Bribes and commissions are yours for the asking. The freedom’s so complete you are free even to bump off anyone as a solution to a problem. Anything else in mind? Just go ahead…in complete freedom. ”
Mafia freedom
“Hooooot! What the hell are you saying?” The owl’s response had a tinge of the incredulous “You are yakking through your ruddy sombrero, Tommo. The type of freedom you talk of is not freedom in a democracy; it’s the type of freedom mafia gangs cultivate to keep their brotherhood going …”
“Hah, haaaahh!. I was waiting for your grey matter to send signals to climb on to that line. You’re abso-bloody-lutely right,” said pussy slapping the water with his paw. Sure, there’s complete freedom in our governors’ democracy, but, there’ a big but in it. That freedom is open only to mafia mobs with the blessings of local gods whose pooja wattis are always full. “Thuhoot! What a situ…” “Purrshshsh! You are telling me. Non-mafia governors are nowhere in that born free picture. If you hear or read of any governor being hauled up and caned in courts for the same things mafia types do, he is just a plain John Doe. Our governors are helpless as new-born kittens in their mafia-democracy. Unfortunately for them, present indications are that local mafia gangs would party freely for years to come unchallenged …unless…”
“Unless what, thuhoot?”
Enter thewestern Mafia
“Unless Western spokes being poked into our governors’ wheels trip the main switch of the country’s fuse box.” “Whoom, whooom, but aren’t the Suddahs also of mafia types?”
“Purrshshtt, of course. The International Democratic Mafia, full of fly-bynight characters keep bulldozing their way promoting dirty plans whereever it is advantageous to them. That means the Suddah Mafia have special reasons to keep punching the local mafia. In the rush, some of other governors are pulling Old Pals’ Acts just to make sure the Western Mafia kick local scallywags into orbit or until they commit suicide. The pressure is such; some governors say the local Mafia days are numbered and that an earthquake in the set-up might happen sooner than thought.”
“Tootoowowww, (Wow! in owl lingo). So, now what?”
“Now, nothing, it’s not our problem is it?” said pussy reaching for the only oar in the boat. It was getting hot and time to go home.
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