AREN’T NINCOMPOOPS RESPONSIBLE FORTHE MESS?

People hope for home-born delivery away from the dementia

The talk of the country was politics, more politics and of herds of politicians weighing the country down. The politics and politico combine, like a badly prepared gruel was the bane of the people who had to stomach the stuff whether they liked it or not. And it seems unlikely

Shelton’s and Joy’s thoughts

“Huh,” said Shelton Perera, the owner of the Wallside Restaurant and Bar, “I have been following our political scene for sometime Darlo, and I wonder whether it is worth my time, effort and disturbed sleep. After listening, following, wishing, cursing, getting angry and voting over and over again, politics and politicians made ‘naught’ difference to me–even if ‘my side’ won. You see, once my party fellows got to Parliament, I was not needed–the clowns and monkeys thought they knew what to do for my good. But all they did was to mess up things making me disappointed, frustrated and ill. So finally I have managed to treat the crap we call politics and its practitioners as sources of entertainment. And I am sure I am not alone.”

Joy, Shelton’s life companion watching a soap on TV said, “You are certainly not alone Shelley. Politics is like the moon that’s of no use except for lovers and poets to swoon over. Other mortals can gaze at it and wonder whether they could live there when all hell breaks out on Earth some day. As good citizens we are expected to have sufficient political awareness to elect fellows to represent us in Parliament. It’s part of socialisation but there is no real basis for it. Politicians want our participation to give their vocation a nice, legitimate and democratic look. That’s a laugh. If you believe the government you only get caught up in myths. And forget the media–what do you care about their views, eh? So, I have decided to use my time for my well-being elsewhere.”

“Well said Darlo. You are a woman after my own heart; that’s why I married you,” Shelton laughed. Joy an honours graduate smiled endearingly. “Thank you for that sentiment Shelley.”

“Politics is not for ordinary people,” Shelton bristled along. “We watch, support and even worry about what politicians and the authorities under their command do. But by doing that we are placing burdens on our lives aren’t we? Anyway, when in power politicians do not listen to us. They become overnight know-alls. It’s no wonder that a bloke by the name of O’Rourke wrote a book with a title: ‘Don’t vote: It just encourages the bastards’.” “My, my, what a title for a book,” exclaimed Joy. “Well the man called a spade a spade in a language ev- erybody understood. I have learnt to treat politics, politicos and governments like the weather. If it’s raining I use an umbrella, if it’s hot I get under a fan. I also think I should get a boat; plenty of political floods are on the cards.”

Unanimous

Two employees of Shelton’s restaurant, Tommo a pussycat and his pal and working partner Ooty an owl who had made themselves comfortable in the Perera living room were all ears to their master’s and mistress’s conversation. “I agree one-hundred percent with Mr Shelton and madam,” meowed pussy emphatically.

“Thuhoot,” responded the owl napping on a chair nearby. “I find politics disgusting: I have no time for it.”

“Purrrrr. Few like it except politiccas who are in it for their own good although they keep chirping they are doing this and that for our governors’ and their country’s good. All cockles; history makes that very, very clear. That is why Mr Shelton and madam are talking the way they do just like many other governors who say they are wasting their time with political things. Politiccas and their politics have brought our governors a series of zeros: through empty kitchen shelves to bank accounts in the red. Simply put politics have given them bugger-all. And our governors can do nothing about that situ. Adding to our governors’ woes, the Old Fox grew a Constitution with an untouchable Executive President, beginning with himself. Mind you, no-one asked for the new setup. It was the Old Fox’s baby through and through. Other commanders who followed him made themselves more unique by making amendments after amendments without bothering to ask governors for a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. These all-powerful captains continued to behave like the creator of the presidency who said the only thing he cannot do is change a man into a woman. This presidential power rubbed onto gangs of lower-rung politiccas– populations of donkeys and monkeys doing the dumbest things imaginable. So you can understand Mr and Mrs Shelton’s attitude.”

“Whoom! But if every governor cultivates an ‘I don’t care a crap about politics’ attitude, what then, ahh?”

It’s no wonder that a bloke by the name of O’Rourke wrote a book titled: ‘Don’t vote: It just encourages the bastards’

Strike control and rising opposition

“Wow! Do you think such hamuduru interest would work in the present day set up?”

“Purrshsh. I was coming to that. Some governors are beginning to resist the dumbos holding the reins. But, see what happened with the recent Everest-like electrick-city hike. After a big ha-hoo a general strike was called. But it fizzled into nothing. In fact attendance in government offices went above normal on strike day they say. But, everybody knows why. Threats of ‘report for work or lose your job; there are plenty to take your place’ and other arm twisting tactics did the job. And living in a nightmare of nightmares, nobody wanted to lose their livelihood. So, public servants left even dengue beds to sign in at 8.30. It’s a damn shame to see our governors getting scared of their own democratically elected government.”

“Tooot. But bullying governors is the usual thing, nooo?”

“Meeoowwyep (Yep). The Opposition talks, but they don’t do as much. With white vans, crooked lawmen, thugs, indefinite jail stays without charges but whims, any ‘doing’ opposition is asking to be caned. A type of tribal law is in operation. And it’s damn scary.” “Wow! But, in a democracy don’t our governors have the freedom to exercise their rights…”

“Meeoowwwha-ha-haaa,” pussy laughed the way pussies do. “I forgive you, pal. You know not what’s happening, but I see a silver lining…” “Thuhootoh! (Oh!)Do you now?” “Meeoowwyep (Yep). The Green boyos are hoisting a new Constitution without the weight of a President etc, the Urumaya clan wants the 13th Amendment with a Yinjun tap root cancelled, the Bell boys are ringing alongside with similar tunes. In this chorus the TNA Eelam seekers and their unseen cahoots have got the jitters. They see a chance of pegging down the Northern boundaries in September for a future homeland withering away. Oh sure, our governors are heading for changes in which they have no say at all.”

“Thuhooot…that’s not new, is it?

The Reverend factor

“Buu…t I hear of a silver lining developing from the side,” went on pussy. “Recently a Buddhist monk travelling in a bus was clouted by the bus driver and the conductor. In a huge commotion that followed, a crowd of Buddhist monks and some governors who appeared on the scene caught the two culprits and in public got them to apologize to the monk who was assaulted. The two busmen did so meekly and the matter ended there. Neither politiccas nor lawmen intervened. The hamuduruwos did a quick and effective job. A couple of days ago, a group of Buddhists monks challenged some unwelcome Johana characters on a religious promo tour and warned them not to step into that area again or else….” “That’s new all right…” “True,” meeoowed pussy, “Hamuduruwos can be a handful. A few years ago a hamudurwo who had a huge following said ‘if leaders don’t listen to us for the betterment of the country, we will get onto the streets ourselves’ or words to give that idea. But when he passed on nobody took after him. Now, some yellow robes are on an anti-establishment path on behalf of our governors.”

The owl tooted the question: “You think the robed interest is a good one?”

“It seems a timely one. Hamudruwos played key roles in the days of Sinhala kings who listened to them and followed their advices for the good of governors of that time.”

“Wow! That’s great. But do you think such hamuduru interest will work in the present day set up?”

“Purrshsh. Let’s hope it will because our governors are at their wits’ end. All they want is someone to do something about the lunacy they live in.”