A void that can never be filled

C.M.B. BOGOLLAGAMA

It is difficult and an ongoing trauma to deal with the loss of one who has been there for me throughout my life. It was long before he became my much loved father-in–law, that had the privilege of getting to know and in the process, growing to love and respect the late C.M.B. Bogollagama. He was a close friend of my late father; both hailed from Kurunegala, were active members of the YMBA and staunch supporters of the UNP, particularly of the then leader, the late Mr. Dudley Senanayake, whose photograph had pride of place in both their homes till they died.

It is just three months on the 16th October that he bade his last farewell to us all, leaving a void that can never be filled. His loyalty to the UNP was such that he remained faithful to the party all his life and gave all its leaders his utmost support and strength through defeat and victory. His closest friends were the late N.M.Appuhamy who was an UNP Senator and the late D.B. Welagedera, a former UNP MP for Kurunegala. Another close friend was Tissa Ballalle, the present Governor of the North Western Province. As a schoolgirl, I recall the many occasions and events at which I was honoured to meet these distinguished personalities. Even after the demise of the former senator and MP, our friendship with their children has continued.

He had time for everyone irrespective of their roles in life and was a commanding presence at all important events in the life of the village he lived in, with pride. He was very proud of his village roots and never moved away from it or lost his head with the several important positions he was honoured with in his life

There are several qualities of my late father-in-law that will always remain as cherished memories. He was a man who never lost his temper and was calm through sadness and traumatic situations. He was a balanced and kind man, reaching out to everyone in thoughtful generosity. He had time for everyone irrespective of their roles in life and was a commanding presence at all important events in the life of the village he lived in, with pride. He was very proud of his village roots and never moved away from it or lost his head with the several important positions he was honoured with in his life. He did a lot for both Narammala and Nikaweratiya. He built a childrens’ ward and a dental clinic for the Narammala Hospital in his wife’s memory.

In retrospect, I recall two occasions which have remained as heartwarming memories. One was, when long before I married his son Janaka, I opened my beauty salon at Kurunegala in 1970, when he and his wife were among the few honoured invitees, together with the late Bishop Lakshman Wickremesinghe. Just a few years ago, he was honoured by the Bar Association for his fifty years at the Bar. He insisted that my elder daughter, Sujani, should accompany him to the award ceremony, and insisted that she wear the kandyan saree and her hair in the traditional way. My late husband Janaka and he, though father and son, were close friends as well. Janaka would never fail to visit his parents and later on his father as a widower, once a week.

Throughout our married life, my fatherin-law would bring us a pot of curd whenever he came to Kurunegala and this habit continued even after Janaka’s sad demise a few years ago. After my husband’s death, my father-in-law was both guide, friend and a pillar of strength to me and I always had him to turn to; he lent me a patient ear.

He held many important positions. Among t hem were Chairman of Lotteries Board during the late Mr. Dudley Senanayake’s tenure of office, Chairman of Narammala UC, Director of Peoples’ Bank, Chairman of Sri Lanka Co-operative Society. The thousands who paid their respects to him at death was proof of the respect and love that people had for him.

Life for me and my children will never be the same without his most revered and gentle presence in our lives. He would always treat me as a daughter and not a daughter-in-law.

I’m thankful to God that I was able to be there for him through both good times and bad.