First couple with Down’s syndrome to be married in Britain
A disabled woman who defied the odds to exchange vows with her partner and become Britain’s first married couple with Down’s syndrome has died aged 45.
Andrea and her husband Paul defied the odds - and social workers - to marry one another in 2004.
The childhood sweethearts met in a home for children with learning difficulties and after falling in love as teenagers they fought a long battle to be allowed to marry.
When the Daily Mail interviewed them in 2006, Andrea, then aged 37, said: `I love Paul this much. Now he is my husband I am so proud. `I give him a kiss in the morning when he leaves for work, and I shout after him `I love you, Paul’ and he says `I love you, Andrea’, and I watch him as he walks all the way down the road.
I know that some people say we should not have got married, but why not? We love each other very much and we look after each other.’ Andrea had a known heart condition related to her disability, and the couple relied on a daily carer to check that they are coping with domestic tasks - but other than that, they were much like any other married couple.
Andrea was just three years old when she was sent to live at the Ormerod Children’s Home in Lytham St Annes, Lancashire. Paul, who had been raised in a foster home, arrived at Ormerod when he was 13, when his elderly foster mother was unable to cope. They became fast friends and eventually fell in love, but in 1996 Andrea was re-housed in a secure community house, while Paul remained at Ormerod, which had been turned into an adult centre. While social workers were pleased with the move - with her highfunctioning Down’s syndrome, Andrea was able to take a part-time job at a local hotel - no one realised she was missing Paul.
Andrea said: `I missed him. I heard music and I wanted to dance with him. If I felt sad inside my heart, there was no one to make me laugh any more.
`I wanted to see my friend, so I asked my carer if I could invite him over for tea, and she said yes. I was so excited and I chose some special biscuits.’ After arrangements by social workers caring for the pair Paul was driven to Andrea’s house for a three-hour visit.
When the front door opened they fell into each other’s arms - much to the astonishment of onlookers.
Carer Eve Millar said: `It suddenly became obvious just how much they had missed each other.
`Andrea was so thrilled to see Paul - she took him by the hand and led him to her little sitting room, and they were both so happy. `They had always been inseparable at the children’s home - and suddenly here they were, together again and loving every moment. Without each other, they existed. Together, they just shone.’
The couple battled against the odds to continue to see each other and eventually said they wanted to marry.
Their wish stunned social workers who worried about the implications of such a marriage, the possible pregnancy and whether the couple could understand the meaning and legality of their vows.
Initially a compromise was reached and the couple received a blessing in 1995.
But for Andrea and Paul this was not enough. The committed Christians, who went to church every week, wanted a church ceremony with all the trimmings.
They were over the age of consent and social workers and the Trust staff were finally forced to relent.
Andrea said at the time: `Paul asked me to marry him and I told him yes. I cried - some big fat tears went down my face because I was so happy.
`Paul got down on his knee and said: `Will you marry me?’ and I said: `Yes.’ I loved him so much I could actually feel it inside my heart. I had seen pictures of ladies getting married, in magazines, and I wanted to look like that, too. `I wanted to have a pretty white dress, and I wanted Paul to have a smart suit and I wanted to be with him always. That is what marriage means — to love somebody and to be with them always.’ Andrea was given anti pregnancy injections because her weak heart might not have coped with childbirth and the couple saved up for gold rings,wedding dress and suit. Their wedding was held on September 24, 2004 with the blessing of the Church and the authorities at the United Reform Church at St Annes on Sea,Lancashire.