Developing the Practice of Letting Go
Letting Go or renunciation of sense pleasures is a cardinal factor in the practice of the Dhamma. It is included in the second factor in the Noble Eightfold Path of Right Thoughts, the others being Metta, loving kindness or the sincere wish for the happiness and welfare of all living beings, including animals and those invisible without any discrimination. The opposite of Letting Go is the attachment to possessions, wealth, material things, and associates relations and friends including the attachment for one’s own life.
There is also the craving for sense pleasures that one does not possess or enjoy at present. This is often caused by the desire to possess things that others have and one does not have, there may often be no necessity to possess a thing but comparing oneself with others these desires tend to arise.
In the practice of Letting Go, one should develop in daily life a sense of detachment to things of a desirable nature that come ones way. It is a habit to lie developed gradually, since the natural tendency of man is to get attracted by the pleasant and repulsion to the undesirable. In this effort, a sound understanding of the liabilities of attachment would he most helpful. The more one is convinced of the good to oneself of one’s goal, the greater the inclination to pursue the objective with vigour. One could contemplate on the negative aspects of being attached to persons, relations, friends and even pets such as dogs and cats. The more the attachment the greater the suffering. When the person to whom one is attached falls seriously ill or face misfortune, there is suffering. If the person concerned dies, there is even greater sorrow. There are many who suffer significantly when a pet that they adopt and love passes away. The life spans of most of the pets are short in comparison to humans and often some bear this unnecessary suffering more than once in their life time. If a dear pet passes away, one often adopts another after grieving for some time. This gives them some relief from the earlier loss but that suffering is repeated when the new pet also dies.
There is also the attachment for one’s own life. This is the greatest attachment. Man will fight to the last to save his own life. However, one who has reduced this attachment to life, would be able to face death much easier than others. As emphasized in the Dhamma, life is Dukkha or unsatisfactory.Apart from the eventual old age, decay, disease and death, life is Dukkha. Man has to face so many disappointments being unable to satisfy what one wants. He also has to face numerous unpleasant experiences in daily life. The disease one has to undergo in the course of life, some of a serious nature, cause suffering, anxiety and worry, is an important aspect of Dukkha. Most people tend to forget their unpleasant experiences with time, but the wise who view life dispassionately realize that in the balance life is unsatisfactory and they seek to escape altogether from Samsara, the cycle of births and deaths, with all its unsatisfactory features. It is the strong desire for further life at the time of death that causes rebirth in Samsara. The Arahats who have attained the Supreme bliss of Nibbana do not fear death and are aware that they would not he born again.
It is said in the Dhamma that the ordinary beings desire so much to live that they wish to be reborn. They do not reflect on the suffering that one has to bear being born again. If it is a normal delivery, there is pain both for the mother and the child at the time of birth. Thereafter, the delicate infant is totally dependent on others, even to turn in bed apart from the cleaning of the discharges from the body and the need to change of clothes. Then most often, they reluctantly go to school, especially in the initial stages, being alone without the comfort and protection of the parents. Sometimes elders, when in an unfavourable mood could take it on the youngsters who are not in a position to respond appropriately. So childhood is a turbulent period. All this is on the presumption that one is born in the human world and, not in planes of woe. In fact the Buddha, on one occasion had smiled when walking with Ven. Ananda seeing a buffalo. When inquired the reason for the smile he explained that the buffalo had once been in the highest of heavens but today a buffalo; indicating the insecurity, instability and volatility of Samsara.
On the other hand, when we think of the life of a Buddhist monk who has renounced the world and having only a handful of personal possessions, they are not burdened with problems of a material nature.Actually, they are expected to have only the essentials of life; namely, food, clothing, shelter and medicine. It is difficult even for monks to confine ‘themselves to these limited items’ but possessions would be substantially reduced and they lead a light and contended life. There are monks who try to lead the life of a true monk. Yet, there are others who continue to have wealth and material possessions. In fact, a few days ago a Buddhist monk was seen entering an ATM to withdraw money.
In the process of Letting Go, one has to be detached from relations and friends. But this does not mean one should not fulfill one’s obligations so well described in the Sigalowada Sutta, such as the duties of parents to children and children to parents. While discharging these obligations, one should desist from being too attached to the persons concerned.
When engaged in the practice of Letting Go, the development of two important factors in the Noble Eightfold Path, namely, Right Mindfulness and Right Effort, are vital. One must be mindful of the existing and arising attachment to possessions and persons and make an effort to develop a sense of detachment at that time.
The development of the practice of Letting Go enables one to live a comparatively happier life and face death; the certainty in life with confidence and equanimity and eventually abandon the desire for life altogether.
May all beings be well and happy.