An ordinary lady with extraordinary grit and grace

Birth centenary of Mary D’ Almeida

For a chosen few, heroism is a glorious facet of life. For some others, it is thrust upon them through a fortuitous twist of fate. It so happened that Mary D’ Almeida, who until then, led an ordinary life of a housewife and mother of several children, was suddenly forced to play a daunting role of the saviour for many, with extraordinary grit and grace.

She was just 46-years-old when Michael Ignatius, her husband, died of a sudden heart attack in January 1962, after a game of football with his children at the Galle Face Green. When tragedy struck the family, Peter, the youngest among the 11 children was just three. It was a few months prior to this fateful event that Lucy the eldest, had been given in marriage. So, there were 10 left behind. But what compounded the case was that the D’ Almeida family also included Mary’s aged mother and her two young nieces. Thus, she was now destined to provide for a ‘crowd’ of 14 loved ones. Her husband, having been an independent insurance agent was not entitled to Provident Fund or retirement gratuity. Hence, it was the meager commissions and small savings that she had to rely on to keep the home fire burning. Moreover, there was a court agreement requiring this extended family to leave their house, close to schools in Kotahena. She complied, moving out first to Mutwal and then to Ragama. Nevertheless, Mary faced insurmountable day-to-day problems with courage.

As time went by, Mary’s reluctant parents, undergoing a change of heart, embraced the Roman Catholic faith. They both spent their old age with Mary, their only daughter, and died under her loving care

Mary William, as she was earlier known, was born on August 16, 1916. The William family lived a life of comfort in the salubrious climes of the sprawling Killarney estate in Bogawantalawa. The young Miss William was admitted to the Mowbray College Kandy which was a residential school, following the tradition of the Anglican Nadar families. She came under the irresistible influence of Miss Simon, who subsequently came to Colombo to transform Ladies College to an institution par excellence. After her schooling and returned to her home in Killarney Estate, her eyes fell on Michael Ignatius D’almeida who was a frequent visitor to their residence. Soon, they fell in love.

Michael, born in India, had completed his education at St. Xavier’s College in India, under the French Jesuit priests. He too was a hosteller and excelled in academics, sports and music. He came to Ceylon in the early 1920s and served as a stenographer under the British. Ten years on he set up his own ‘Clothing Company’ that required him to visit the hill country frequently. That’s how he met Mary, his junior by 18 years.

His appearance belying his age, Michael, carried in him sparks of Roman Catholic missionary zeal which was a hallmark of the Bharatha community to which he belonged. Separated by the disparity in age and faith in an era when Catholics and Anglicans bore hostilities, Mary decided to marry him. Though heart broken, her gracious father accompanied her to St. Gabriel’s Convent Hatton, the half-way point of her new life’s journey. Thus in 1937, they were married without a single member of her family being present. Mr. D’almeida, adhering willingly to the biblical admonition – ‘increase and multiply’ – raised a family of 11 children.

As time went by, Mary’s reluctant parents, undergoing a change of heart, embraced the Roman Catholic faith. They both spent their old age with Mary, their only daughter, and died under her loving care.

As the family expanded with extraordinary rapidity, they moved to a spacious house in Kotahena, from where her six sons and five daughters attended schools close-by. When everything looked cheerfully bright, Michael died and Mary was caught in the throes of uncertainty. It is then that she proved her mettle, unruffled. She, possessing immense love and passion, steered the vessel that carried 14 souls, many of whom were just children, with steady determination. She continued to play the challenging role even as the children grew older, got married and themselves bore 32 children and paved the way for a future expansion of 31 greatgrandchildren.

When the needs of the family multiplied and the financial resources diminished, she mobilized her household to set-up a simple poultry yard. Additionally, she came out with an idea of supplying meals to office workers to supplement the income.

Amidst all tribulations, she ensured that her doors were always wide open to any of her children’s friends who dropped by and had a meal which she provided wholeheartedly. Ultimately, the situation for her became even more exasperating when their modest house in Mattakkuliya became a

Amidst all tribulations, she ensured that her doors were always wide open to any of her children’s friends who dropped by and had a meal which she provided whole-heartedly. Ultimately, the situation for her became even more exasperating when their modest house in Mattakkuliya became a study centre where radicalized young people who met to discuss a wide range of topics

study centre where radicalized young people who met to discuss a wide range of topics. They passionately deliberated the blatant violation of human rights in the country at the height of the 1971 insurrection, caring less for their own fate. Mary silently stood by, even as the eldest and the youngest sons put their own lives in unnecessary peril, thereby.

Despite all turmoil, a remarkable aspect of her life was a passion to write letters. She, through this simple practice kept in touch with many people and used the cost effective aerograms to reach out to those living overseas.

Death came to this remarkable woman on the morning of the Sunday the 6th August, 2006, just 10 days short of her 90th birthday. And at last when she crossed the threshold of time, she might have heard a call; “well done good and faithful servant- come!” With these words she would have gained her Redeemer’s rest – a rest that had been long overdue in her life.

The saga of Mary Philomena lives on, as a lingering fragrance in the hearts of those who knew cherished and now bear her unwavering faith and tenacious fortitude. FRANCIS D’ ALMEIDA