Keeping romance alive in the digital age, by Mills & Boon: Publisher creates modern guide to help couples... and says oldfashioned gestures are best
Technology can perform wonders, but when it comes to romance it appears the digital age can’t compete with old-fashioned gestures such as giving flowers or holding hands.
In fact, for many people, dating apps, sexting and status updates have made starting and maintaining relationships harder than ever.
So to help would-be Romeos and Juliets navigate the pitfalls of 21st century romance, the publisher Mills & Boon has created a modern guide to making your beloved’s heart melt.
First, the don’ts. Mills & Boon claims couples should limit how long they spend on their mobile phones while together and, to give a good impression, should tidy the room before using Facetime, in which you have a video chat on your smartphone.
Experts also advised against using email to ask someone out, saying: ‘There’s nothing worse than an Outlook calendar invite to your date.’
Mills & Boon surveyed 2,000 people for its guide, The Rules Of Romance, with nearly half saying prolific mobile phone use was the top passion killer.
Despite this, more than half admitted to communicating digitally with their partner more than in person.
On this issue, Mills & Boon advised lovers to use emojis, while carefully avoiding images that smack of innuendo, urging readers: ‘Use emojis wisely. There’s nothing romantic about a digital prawn, aubergine or the one of the guy sword fighting.’
Other no-nos were being rude to waiters and having poor personal hygiene. Amazingly, though, when it comes to what lovers should do, most of the advice from the poll would be familiar to our grandparents.
It says holding hands, cuddling and buying a surprise gift are some of the best ways to make a partner swoon. Going on a romantic stroll, giving a bunch of flowers and presenting breakfast in bed also topped the list.
Other favourites include waiting to watch the next episode of your favourite TV series together and letting your partner choose the film you watch.
Men were more likely to prefer material acts, such as buying a partner a surprise gift or giving flowers, whereas women valued those that involved spending time together, such as having a cuddle or a romantic walk. There was also a disparity across generations, with younger people disagreeing about the romance of chivalry.
For over-45s, 93 per cent of people believed it was still relevant, while a third of those aged 18 to 24 thought it has no place in the modern world.
Chivalrous acts considered outdated by millennials include ordering for someone else at a restaurant, which 42 per cent deemed unacceptable.
Lisa Milton, of Mills & Boon, said: ‘With so many people confused about romance in the modern era, it is clear they need a little help. We have seen how notions of romance have changed, but also how many age-old gestures remain the epitome of romance.’