TIPS AND TRUTHS THAT NOONE TELLS A NEW MOTHER
Whilst Meghan Markle welcomed a bouncy baby boy last week, the queen of reality T.V Kim Kardhashian welcomed her fourth child through a surrogate just a few days ago. Babies are born every minute, and usually the new mother, whether it’s her first or last is bombarded with realms of information. From the Auntie next door with her old wives solutions to the lady at the grocery store line who knows it all, everybody wants to get their piece of advice in! A new baby is like a ticket to the most greatest ride in the theme park of your life. You are greeted with magic and wonder. Each day is a new day with brand new discoveries. Amongst all that lure and wonder also lies a certain amount of hardship. Sleepless nights, cracked nipples, fatigue, post natal recoveries, changes to your body, both good and bad, the fledgling new mother brandishes these afflictions like a true warrior. Whilst been avalanched with a plethora on information of all the do's and don't there are also snippets of advice that will not be told to a new mother, here are raw tips and truths!
1. You will feel like a total failure: Whether this is your first or last baby, each journey into motherhood is different. Much like good old Alice, it will have you spiralling into a strange rabbit hole where you will be feel emotionally and physically out of control. There will be dark days, and that is okay. Do not feel guilty about crying over the hard days. You are not to be judged or deemed at being ungrateful. The reality is that motherhood is hard, and once everyone has left at the end of the day after cooing and droning out words of advice, it’s only you left holding the crying baby into the wee hours of the night. It will get better and you are okay to have bad days!.
2. You will ache.. everywhere and all the time: I still remember not being able to look down at my caesarean scar. Planning for a naturel delivery, things took a turn for the worse and suddenly I was in the theater room, getting a caesarean done. My beautiful little newborn took the sting away from the monstrosity of events that had been done to my body, sliced open and a tiny human being pulled out. Afterward I was in shock. My body shocked me at every movement, the scar throbbed, my breast heavy with the new milk, my back ached under my body weight, everything hurt. There is no one else other than a new mother who can relate to you the effects of post trauma on your body. Fortunately the euphoria of a new baby numbs the realities of stretched skin, flabby thighs, and body which will never return to its original shape. There will be days like this.
3. Information overload: Everybody loves a new baby, and everybody needs to give advice. Remember that you do not have to listen to it all. Some advice will be helpful but most are old wives tales, like don't use a soother, always rock your baby, or never put the baby clothes in the washing machine. As mothers we are expected to have babies and still carry on with the daily goings on of life. Do what works for you, you will always have the best interests of your baby at heart. You have an internal alarm system when you know your baby needs help. Trust that and stick to your natural instincts and the rest will follow.
4. It takes a village: New babies are tiny little things which you can fit in the crook of your hand, but looking after these new individuals requires a lot of work, and that means a number of people. So do not feel embarrassed, guilty or troubled to ask for help. Give yourself the time to spend with your newborn and let someone else cook, clean and do the laundry. It is okay and is only expected after the battle you have just gone through physically and mentally to create this perfect little human. Motherhood is a mystical magical world we have the privilege of entering. Do not let the opinion holders or what you should doers distract you from this beautiful relationship you have fallen into. Bury yourself in the baby sweet smells, for this is how you will happily every after!