Daily Mirror (Sri Lanka) - - LIFE -

For the last nine months, you were every­one's favourite. Pam­pered and thor­oughly looked after, you were in­deed spoilt to the max­i­mum. At the slight­est men­tion of a food you liked, you were sud­denly pre­sented with an ar­ray of del­i­ca­cies, bags were car­ried, doors were opened and seats were given up all in the name of your com­fort. You were the ex­tra spe­cial one, the one that every­one took an in­ter­est, rubbed belly and asked a mil­lion times about how you felt. In­deed you felt loved, cared for and de­light­fully pam­pered. Right­fully so for you are in the process of cre­at­ing magic, you are giv­ing up your body to carry this new hu­man into the world. But all this came crash­ingly to a halt, the minute this tiny hu­man, that ag­gra­vated ev­ery mus­cle and sinew of your body, comes scream­ing into the world.

Face it new mummy, you are def­i­nitely not the star at­trac­tion any­more. Cen­trestage has been taken by this cheru­bic beau­ti­ful an­gel, that has peo­ple coo­ing in ut­ter delight at the crook of their lit­tle fin­ger. Ev­ery­body wants to know how the baby is, whilst you are an after thought. You might have gone through 24hours of labour, body chang­ing cae­sarean pro­ce­dures, but ev­ery­body wants to see the baby. En­veloped in the ut­ter bliss of new moth­er­hood you don't take it per­son­ally. Your life is never your own any­more, but in­stead lived partly through your new child. Un­til you are whole again, new moth­ers, you have to ask for help. You have to stand up and say I am bro­ken, I am sleep de­prived, I don't re­ally know what I am do­ing, I need help.

Ad­vice to a new mother en­ter­ing moth­er­hood “To those whom much has been given, much is ex­pected”, and as a new mother you have been given the great­est gift there is in ex­is­tence, here are some help­ful sug­ges­tions to make this an easy jour­ney for you:

1. Do not be afraid to sim­ply say “This is

dif­fi­cult, I need help”. Even if oth­ers are to crit­i­cise on your laments, re­mem­ber that at this mo­ment, you want to be the best you can be for your baby. Tak­ing time for your­self, get­ting help doesn’t make you a lesser mother. It makes you a bet­ter mother. Don’t let the whis­per­ings of oth­ers in­flu­ence you, you are not out there to win the best mother of the year award, all you want to do is look after your baby, be happy and healthy! 2. This too shall pass. In the wee hours of the morn­ing after a con­tin­u­ous night of bro­ken sleep and days spent rou­tinely with your new­born, your jour­ney at the be­gin­ning might seem long hard and haz­ardous with no end to it. But each phase will pass, only to make things a lit­tle eas­ier for you. Your con­fi­dence as a new mother grows and each day will be­come eas­ier and more joy­ous. 3. Pri­ori­tise your life: You have ma­ter­nity leave for a rea­son, use that time wisely.

At this point in your life the only im­por­tant thing should be your new­born and nurs­ing your body back to health. Eat right, sleep when you can, don’t stress your­self with un­nec­es­sary has­sle­ments if pos­si­ble, al­low these early months to over­come you for it is in­deed a blessed pe­riod in your life and one which should be thor­oughly cher­ished.

4. Get a lit­tle help from you friends. With your sud­den new re­spon­si­bil­ity as a mother you as­sume you have to be su­per mum, which is not the case. Noth­ing will hap­pen to your baby if some­one else bathes or feeds her. When friends and fam­ily of­fer to help hold them to it and use that time to re­gain your own self. 5. Recog­nise your fam­ily’s new role. Now that you are mother of a child your fam­ily dy­nam­ics have also changed, you have ac­quired a new sta­tus in ad­di­tion to be­ing, wife, daugh­ter, sis­ter and so forth. Your cur­rent sta­tus as mother will be the most de­mand­ing at this point in your life. Do not feel stressed that you are un­able to ful­fill the other roles sat­is­fac­to­rily, this is just a tem­po­rary sit­u­a­tion and one that doesn’t need to give you too much stress.

Moth­er­hood is in­deed an amaz­ing jour­ney that we em­bark on. Take com­fort first time moth­ers, your time is here, cher­ish, en­joy it, be in the mo­ment!

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