FATHERS WE NEED YOU
A Father’s Day appreciation
The phrase ‘Wait till your father gets home’ is never met with any fear or trepidation in our house for everyone is thrilled Dad is home and let the adventures begin
To be honest, the literature is plentiful when it comes to women, to mothers, in the role of parenting. As it is the mother who gives birth, her importance is validated continuously with an astounding general consensus, that in the role of parenting, the mother knows best. Many overlook her trusted sidekick, Batman to her Robin or Tom to her Jerry or even the Burger to her fries. Basically, fathers, the silent unsung heroes all around the world, do not receive recognition and praise for their important contribution towards the family unit. The father’s role in the family is not only the age old job description of provider, protector and head of household. In fact it has changed in depth and quality. It has evolved into a more non-visceral role in which they are their children’s constant guides, motivators and forever bad mood busters.
My children will quite unanimously, vote my husband as the most “FUN” parent. He is their Willy Wonka, whilst I am the wicked witch from the East. When I would nitpick about a child’s untidy appearance he is forever ready for a game of wrestlemania even in their Sunday best clothes. If I preach broken recordedly about healthy eating, he suggests an ice-cream run, and if I scream about proper bedtimes, they will all scream for half an hour more T.V time with him being the loudest. The phrase ‘Wait till your father gets home’ is never met with any fear or trepidation in our house for everyone is thrilled (including me, since now there are two of us to face the kids, united) Dad is home and let the adventures begin. Whilst anyone can physically father a child, there is more intense commitment and constance in being an involved father. Here are some ways as to how fathers can be more intrinsically important in their children’s everyday lives.
1
Live a life worth imitating. Being a father is not necessarily about being an effective disciplinarian. No child will listen to the age old adage of “Because I said so” instead they learn through watching and observing. As the leader of their household and their little world, children will look towards their fathers for the right behaviour, the right attitude and the right action. Therefore, always remember that you are being watched. Your behaviour will help mould the next generation, so make it a good one.
2
Fathers influence our future relationships. Studies have shown that children’s relationships with their fathers are instrumental in shaping a child’s future relationships from birth to death. Those early patterns of interaction that a father has with their child, are the same patterns that the child will project on to any future relationship. Girls will select husbands who hold similar characteristics to their fathers, they know how these interactions work and find safe haven in familiarity. Boys will always look for their father’s approval. They will model their future selves on their fathers. Therefore if you as the father figure display a loving, caring attitude your sons will in turn practise such behaviour. 3 In this day and age relationships can change and take turns and twists out of the expected norm. Even though fathers are removed from the social family unit, it is important to continue and cultivate the father and child bond. It has shown that when fathers have a positive interaction with their children, this forms a more grounded and well rounded child. Their constant presence in a child’s life gives the child confidence and motivation to strive for the better. Divorce and separation are hard for any child to endure, but a strong , loving and consistent parenting from father gives the child the support their need in life. Thanks Dad.
Finally on this upcoming Father’s day, to all fathers, we applaud you for your commitment and generosity of self, we thank you for waking up everyday and committing your life to our betterment. Without you there would only be a weak version of us. We are grateful to all fathers for their wisdom, their guidance and their safe haven. Happy Father’s Day to all our Fathers.