General kanu-kunu and the foreign kunu-kunu
If there is just one thing we the Sri Lankans are good at, it's definitely not cricket. We hope and pray that situation will change. Like our dear ol' Mali says, changing depends on the players and their talents. In the same vein, we hope and pray, that the cricket board will have people with a talent for player selection. Now, that is my introduction.so, if we are not so good at cricket, then what are we good at? It doesn't seem as if we are good at anything much these days. From managing our economy to guessing at who really runs our country, we seem to wander in the dark night of our souls. When I stop to think about it, I wonder whether the country is really running or we are jogging in the same place, like a thirty-second video on cardio exercise.
Come to think of it, there's one thing we the Sri Lankans excel at. That is general kanu-kunu. Heard, whispered, talked, blared, growled, printed and protested day in and day out, in whatever medium that the general populace can use, to make the kanu-kunu a.k.a grumbling, complaining and murmuring, popular.
Popular it is, now that we have our venerated clergy joining the kanu-kunu fray from time to time. One might say that an even-toned dignified kanu-kunu is a notch better than a threat-blaring, vociferous bru-haah-haa of another, but in the final analysis, both are kanukunus. Now, won't you agree and haven't we, the simple Pereras have had enough of both?
Our loaf of bread is five rupees higher. Petrol keeps us more on our toes, than on three to four wheels. Price of vegetables makes us go bananas. Price of fish makes me wonder whether they are produced by Gucci or Nike and that of chicken, whether they're actually laying golden eggs. Each morning when I look at my egg carton, I am tempted to leave them on my counter top as ornaments than swallow a twenty rupee all in one gulp! I stare at apples and buy a home grown pineapple. Anyway, apples come with a lot of preservatives, I tell myself. Not good for health. Caressing the Cheddar, processed Highland goes in my cart. I'm helping our industry, I tell myself. Then I read, that a twelve million rupees is spent to feed the two-hundredand-twenty six. I am tempted to proclaim a mega-purge in the Diyawanna House but I stop myself. I'm not supposed to curse. I do a quiet kanu-kunu to myself.
Added to all this, a new kanu-kunu show is performed for our benefit by those who keep us most entertained through the year. With a lot of fanfare here comes the procession of Janadhipathi-apekshakayas with their own kanu-kunus, gathering momentum with each passing day. Just like when Harry married Meghan and all the bachelorette hopefuls around the globe woke up to the fact that you don't have to have the blood in blue to marry into blue blood, there seems to be a new awakening among us, the Sri Lankans, that any one, really, any one, can now be a Janadhipathi. Of course, you got to be OL qualified, if nothing else! Does that mean that most of us who are outside the Diyawanna house can now have a chance of becoming a Janadhipathi? OL or not, there's a significant achievement for the current procession of the ápekshakayas who are well qualified in the art of kanukunu against each other, with enough mud in their camps to sling back and forth.
AS IF OUR OWN KANUKUNU IS NOT ENOUGH ON EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING ON IN OUR SWEET NATION, THE BRITISH HAVE GIFTED US WITH A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF THEIR KUNUKUNU THAT ARE NOW SITTING-SMELLY AT OUR PORT
Whether it's confusion of aryawa-bharyawa, most eloquent orator, young blood yearning to get-go, vintage blood yearning to hold-all or a bud that doesn't seem to bloom any time soon, dear me, the show of strength through a plethora kanu-kunu against each other, truly is massive. Oh please, give us, the general public a break from your kanu-kunus as we have our own to deal with. Don't worry. We will decide who sits on the throne, when our dear Mako finishes his current reading, The Monkey (Waanaraya- as mentioned by him at a recent press conference which I watched on You Tube), and starts the process that leads up to the throne-room. Stay quiet, will you all! As if our own kanu-kunu is not enough on everything that's going on in our sweet nation, the British have gifted us with a massive amount of their kunukunu that are now sitting-smelly at our port. Well, in fairness to British fairness and known justice, it is my opinion they didn't force it on us, now that they are no longer a Raj but a democratic nation. Yes, there seems to be a nicely printed gazette, welcoming the kunu-kunu. According to media reports, the British seem to have sent us some parts of their own countrymen with it. It's still to be investigated and I do hope that the kunu-kunu saga will come to a clean end soon. We do really have our own kunu-kunu to deal with though a great deal of kanukunu has taken place around it since Meethotamulla came tumbling down. Kunu-kunu, still remains an issue. Okay – now for the closure. Since there is a lot of kanu-kunu and the great deal of kunu-kunu and in the vortex of it all we are awakened to the fact that any one of us can become a janadhipathiapekshaka, as long as we have our OL'S, I've got the mind to run for it myself. Here are my qualifications. I've a lot more than an OL, balance my budget every month, keep peace at home, brought up children and have cordial diplomatic ties with my in-laws and don't aggravate those that threaten to nuke me and free with good advice. Above all, I am a clean fanatic and dispose of my kunukunu in the right manner and don't burn any polythene for the love of the environment. So, do you think I could run? I would choose the clay-pot as my symbol, because I cook a lot.