THE PARTY ULTIMATE GUIDE TO SEASON ETIQUETTE
As December approaches, many of us will be fretting about how to cram all the inevitable social events into our already busy everyday lives. In a bid to survive the party season, I have offered up a bulging hamper of tips and tricks to know exactly what to do in every situation before you embark on the busy party season. Whether it be a work party, a family gathering or simply a friend's Christmas gathering, my guide has advice for every occasion, including what to do if you're stuck with someone boring or happen to forget a name.
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When it comes to festive social invitations, the etiquette that still stands today is that they must be replied to within three days of receiving - ideally within 24 hours. It's terribly irritating for hosts to guess how many people may be coming - and a nightmare for menu planning and budgeting.
If you are free but don't want to go, politely decline the invitation. Remember, you do not actually have to give a reason why you can't attend.
Arrivals
There is no such thing as fashionably late. So before you arrive anywhere, make sure you know that. What is polite for social occasions in Britain and North America is to arrive 10 to 15 minutes after the stated arrival time.
If your host has printed 6pm on the drinks party invitation, they do not want all guests arriving on the stroke of the hour. A small grace period is both elegant and expected. Never be early, however. I would rather a guest was 30 minutes late than five minutes early.
Come bearing gifts
For small dinners in towns and cities, it is now the custom that you bring something with you.you can send your present in advance (especially good for floral favours) but sending something post-event just makes it look like you forgot.
Chocolates are always a safe bet - indeed when the custom first came to the UK in the 1950s, this was the only thing it was thought acceptable to bring.
Wine and Champagne can be brought if you know the host drinks and also know their specific likes and dislikes. If you are unsure, opt for something else.smelly candles should be avoided, again, unless you know the host's nasal preferences.
Dressing the part
This tip is for the benefit of the hosts. Please do print a proper dress code on the invitations. Don't use vague, wishy-washy terms like ‘casual' or ‘smart', as everyone has different interpretations of what these mean.
Most social parties now are ‘smart casual', which correctly means no denim, although this is starting to relax. But, if in doubt, avoid.
If there is no dress code mentioned, guests don't be afraid to contact the host and ask. Better safe than sorry.
Civil conversation
Unsure what to say to your new friend? You can talk about Brexit, Trump and their opinion on the Sussexes if you really want to, but don't start with these topics. Build up to them.
The standard rules of avoiding sex, politics, health, religion and money do still apply for the first 10 minutes.
Whatever you do, don't ask them what they do for a living. You are there in a social capacity, your jobs are irrelevant. Defaulting to talking shop is the sign of a bore.
The best thing to start a decent conversation is to pay them a compliment or make a positive comment about the party itself.
How to ditch the dullard
We have all been there stranded with Derek Dull at a party and not really sure how to escape.
Firstly, try your hardest not to leave him on his own. Only if Derek says something bigoted or purposefully offensive can you walk away and leave him stranded.
But if Derek means well, but has the conversational repertoire of a spanner, your best tactic is to open your body language to invite someone else to join you and then make a swift exit soon after.
Alternatively you can actively introduce Derek to someone passing by whom you may know and leave the two of them talking.
Don't say you are going to get a drink and not come back that is plain rude and karma will ultimately catch up with you.
There is no such thing as fashionably late. What is polite for social occasions in Britain and North America is to arrive 10 to 15 minutes after the stated arrival time