NOT A NEW NORMAL, BUT... A NEW DIFFERENT

This times their year personal of Corona has indeed “Mt we Everest” live been in, a but equivalent difficult for parents..this one to conquer. for all has considering With indeed their been the normal everyday lives thrown into upheaval, children have been cloistered indoors relying on technology to be their friend, teacher and everything else. Their normal typical childhood has been twisted into a manic state of masks, sanitising and living life behind closed doors. Scared, they have looked to you for answers, where at times you have also been bewildered yourself. One blessed reassurance of parenting is that, whatever goes on in the outside world, you are still faced with the diabolical intricacies of raising the complicated child. The world might be in lockdown, but you still have had to parent and yes it's not been easy. As the much anticipated 2021 looms near and the silent mantra of “Auld Lang Syne” becomes our new mantra in the last few days of the year, you contemplate what lies ahead as a parent, in not a new normal but instead a new different. Motivated by hope you believe this year you’re going to get it right, you are determined that this year you will WIN as a parent. Motivation and determination is all that we as parents can bring to this complicated game called parenting. Much like a jitjusu entanglement between two fighters, you are always on your guard but constantly being tripped up by your more worthy opponent, your child. One aspect that is ever permanent when it comes to parenting is that it is forever in a state of change. Just when you think you got the bedtime routine down for the two year old, they up the game by entering the nuclear age of tantrums, and your parenting mountain only gets steeper from there.

Despite all the madness of the world, for me, these days spent with my children has been and will always be beautiful days, filled with the pitter patter of new tik tock dances, important votes held on what to watch on

Netflix or who should have the last sweet are my glory days. They are my days filled with happiness and a joy and I wouldn’t exchange it for all the treasures of the world. Yes I agree I could do away with the squabbling, a few nights of undisturbed sleep and an occasional dinner with my husband in adult solitude. But looking back I feel blessed at how rich my life with kids has been, the chocolaty hugs, the scribbled “I love yous”, worth their weight in gold. But of course I also have regrets, mainly parenting regrets for no one said the road to parenting was easy, here are some of my new resolutions to be worked on in this year.

1 Never compare parenting styles. I do not admit to having all the answers when it comes to parenting. I sometimes look on wistfully at some of my friends who literally “have-it-together”. Their children are extremely well behaved, getting excellent grades, reading dutifully and quietly in a corner all the while snacking on homemade cookies, made by their mother! Whilst in my case, the story is very different. My parenting can be chaotic, there is constant admonitions for them to behave or continuous battles on personal improvement. But through all the chaos my children do understand that I love them unconditionally and this is all that matters.

2 Fight for attention Having four children at home, one is always fighting for my attention, if you have a large family you understand my predicament. Usually the one who shouts the loudest most times gets all my attention, which means that the ones with quieter less demanding personalities, accept their lot and move on. This year I must strive to maintain a healthy balance on spending time with my children. You might say well we’re always together, but sometimes one on one time spent doing an activity together is very important for the child.

3

Treasure the quiet moments.

It goes without saying that a big lesson learnt this year is to value what is truly important in your lives, and that is your loved ones. The world might crash around your feet, but in the arms of your family you will feel invincible.

4

Look after yourself.

As I look back upon the busy year, I do remember burning the candles on both ends, catching a few hours of sleep and galloping on with my busy day, snacking when I can and resting for a few minutes if time permits. But I realise unhappily that I am not getting younger, only older and such a lifestyle is impossible to maintain. As I take care of others I must also remember to take care of myself.

5

Shout a little less and love a whole lot more.

When there is chaos in the house and I’m exhausted the easiest solution to put a stop to the madness is for me to shout, throw out some punishments and regain control. But I realise that these are after all our children and they will be so for only a fraction of a moment in our lifetime only to be gone sooner than you think, being adults leading their own lives. Hug them whilst you can, love them whilst you can.

2021 has not occurred yet, but we have indeed placed a lot of promise on it. It is going to be our better days, not our new normal, but the new different we will create. Happy New Year to all my readers!