I CAN’T STOP THE YELLING
In all honesty, there are days when I feel I live in a love bubble, surrounded by my family I wonder why did I JUST have four kids, I should have more, parenting these little miracles is a blessing. Kill the Sound of Music Von trapp malarkey .... then there are days where my choice to be a parent is severely questioned, the tantrums, the back talk and delinquent child drama, I think to myself, WHY WHY WHY!!! As a mother, my children are my main priority and I am always wondering how I can be a better parent. What extra little bit or which new-fangled parenting theory is going to turn me into the Mother of the Year with extremely well-mannered disciplined kids in tow.
The reality is that in a bustling household of four children to manage I am always shouting. I shout at one to pick up her socks, threaten the older two to stop fighting and scream with dismay as another one of my favourite crystal vases ends up in shards in the hands of the inquisitive disobedient child. Just like my children I dislike the shouting, in addition to being physically drained I am also mentally exhausted by the constant battles. But, in my defence my behaviour is instinctive, sometimes it feels good to bellow out some commands in the hope that someone will listen. On a serious note I feel if I don’t shout they will turn out to be spoilt and ungrateful children and society will blame me for turning out social miscreants.
According to the experts, constant admonishing and disciplining your child falls into the category of authoritative versus authoritarian parenting. Whilst authoritative parenting still sets down the rules and limitations, it follows up with nurturing and shows affection to the child. Though being strict, authoritative parents keep an open flow of communication with their children so that they feel loved and wanted.
With respect to authoritarian parenting, the child is disciplined through ridicule, insults and feelings of being unloved and unwanted.
It is a 'do as I say otherwise get lost' mantra. Therefore practising authoritative parenting is the correct approach to the situation, for you are still keeping discipline but at the same time you are building a close bond with your child. It is important that with the constant disciplining we dole out we are aware of which style we practise, for children brought up in the authoritarian parenting style, develop a series of behavioural and psychological problems. Here are the pitfalls of authoritarian parenting to be aware of.
I believe there is a fine line between the two types of parenting, authoritarian versus authoritative