Warm-hearted lady with that radiant smile

Be they family, friends or mere acquaintances, all those who knew Sushila, feel as if a beacon of light has gone out of our lives. Sushila schooled at Good Shepherd Convent, Kotahena, but didn’t finish her schooling, as Cupid intervened when Donald fell in love with her and married her when she was just 13 years old. For those of us who knew her for several decades, it is necessary to take a journey down memory lane to retrace our steps and reflect on the wonderful gift of her friendship.

I first met her when I was a schoolgirl and a friend of her niece, Indrani Rutnam. The cynosure of all eyes, at Indrani’s parties was her exquisite aunt, Sushila. Just a few years older than us, she always had a radiant smile and a kind word for everyone present. She was the embodiment of all that was good, kind and beautiful. Her beauty shone from within and was not a mere facial beauty.

Later on, through the years we met her at the races, where again both her beauty and good taste in clothes, usually designed and made by her, attracted media attention and her picture was in all the fashion pages. She was a great strength and of steadfast support to her husband, when he built up his business , Donald’s Photography Studio, which soon became a household word.

It was about 20 years ago, that I really got to know her well, through my friendship with her youngest daughter, Rohini. After that I was always included as a guest at her parties, at her table at the Lady Hilton and other family celebrations My late husband Chandra, hated going to parties, but one of the few he attended, was the golden wedding of Sushila and Donald in 1994, hosted by their children at the Colombo Hilton. Donald and she were always a joy to watch on the dance floor; both of them loved music.

There were so many celebrations that I recall with nostalgia, now that she is gone.

On her 70th birthday Lilamani hosted a grand celebration and we were shown pictures of her life through childhood, marriage, motherhood and as a grandmother. The 75th birthday celebration was a lunch at a five star hotel. Images of a radiant Sushila, on all these occasions, keep flashing through my mind and will live forever, in the recesses of my mind. She was one of God’s gifts, a truly wonderful person. A friend who was always concerned, I recall whenever I took part in campaigning at elections, she was always worried about my safety, would call asking me to be careful whereever I went, making sure that I was accompanied.

She has four daughter; Manel, Lilamani, Chandra and Rohini and two sons, Prins and Shehan. As mothers, we love all our children equally, this is a natural tendency of motherhood and we wear our motherhood like badges of honour. But sometimes, one is closer to us than others, it may be as kindred spirits, soulmates or simply being on the same wavelength. Lilamani, a doctor, lives in England but spoke to her mother five times a day and paid frequent visits to see her parents. Prins a doctor too, and the eldest son and Shehan, the baby of the family, were also particularly close to Sushila in spirit. She delighted in all her grandchildren and was equally proud of them all. She was always glad to see them and loved nothing more than having all her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren round her, sitting down together at meals or merely enjoying their company and youthful exuberance.

It was only last month, on December 19 that we joined with her in a post birthday celebration of her 80th birthday and on December 28, I sat at her table at a charity dance organized by Lilamani. She looked beautiful that night and Lilamani repeatedly told her so, at which she smiled her radiant smile and said ‘Thank You, darling’.

On her birthday,, words composed in her honour, by her children and grandchildren were as follows;

‘You are the rock we built our lives on. You have always been there for us, no matter what. We are indeed lucky to have been blessed with one as good, caring and generous as you. Your patience and optimism are two of your greatest qualities. Open Heart and Open House…all are welcome---that’s how you have lived, doing your very best for everyone, always caring and sharing.

Perhaps overworked and possibly under appreciated

Yet undaunted you happily continue to do your best. So this is to say

Have a wonderful birthday and Thank you for being you..’

I shall miss you Sushila, your comfort, your friendship and your radiant smile.

‘She walks in beauty like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes’ (Lord Byron) Ilica Malkanthi

Karunaratne