A born leader my da was one of life’s extraordinary men

If my father had lived he would now have surely been enjoying his retirement here in Sri Lanka. On January 13 this year he would have celebrated his 69th birthday with friends and family, just like he had been celebrating his birthday every year when he used to visit Sri Lanka around the Christmas holidays. Though the end of April will mark ten years of his having suddenly departed this world at only 59, I will always remember his birth date and the plans we had of celebrating his 60th year in grand style here in Sri Lanka.

My mother and I had planned to move to Sri Lanka with my father on his intended retirement in 2008. He was well established in his field of powder technology in Porsgrunn, Norway. Our world fell apart when he suddenly died in 2002. I was working in China, my mother in Sweden and so only my brother in Norway was with him at his sudden end. He normally worked so hard, that his idea of a holiday would be lying around leisurely reading a book or simply taking long naps. When he was awake, everybody would enjoy his joking around with them. They in turn would tease him, especially about his enjoying his daily whisky (they would for instance occasionally replace it with tea!), and everybody would have a good laugh. He spread joy and happiness, whether among his colleagues at work or when with servants, friends and family. He used to have apt and affectionate nicknames for everyone.

He had started a campaign to increase student numbers in his field at the college where he was working as a professor. He was also still heavily involved in research in the private sector. He had planned to put Sri Lanka on the map by starting to organise an international confer- ence in powder technology here. He was already helping students from developing countries to come to Norway to do their doctorates under him and his colleagues. Ten years on most of his ambitions have come to little because he was the driving force behind everything. When he died there was no one who could follow in his footsteps.

He was a born leader with an exceptional brain. I never attempted to participate in the arguments he used to love. He was a master of persuasion through logic. He once persuaded somebody of the merits of apartheid for the fun of it though he was heartily against it. I will also miss his amazing cooking. He loved to cook and share with everybody. Whilst a student in England he won third place in a curry competition. He left his beloved country to study in England in the sixties. He continued working abroad because of not being able to work in his field here. But he never forgot he was a Sri Lankan and always promoted our island whilst abroad. He was always writing to the newpapers to set them straight about what was happening in Sri Lanka if they got something wrong. He never carried anything but a Sri Lankan passport even when it once caused him to be denied access to the UK (where he was to give a lecture).

We still miss you, da, but hope you are having a grand time discussing issues with God and surrounded by other family members who enjoy a little heavy liquor. I hope you are able to see that we are still striving to make you proud of us. As long as we who were privileged to have known you are alive you will be missed as one of life's truly extraordinary men.

S. T. de Silva