Those outrageous wides in international cricket
Morne Morkel's howler against England in the Twenty20 international is a contender for the worst ball in cricket history.
Steve Harmison has company. Long has the former England spearhead's wild, opening ball of the 2006-07 Ashes been ridiculed as one of the worst, or at least widest, of all time. It set the scene for the ultimate humiliation - Australia's 5-0 whitewash of the old enemy that summer.
Harmison, then, could at least empathise with the South African quick Morne Morkel, whose own howler of a wide at Edgbaston overnight is suddenly a hot contender for the wildest delivery in international cricket history.
In a rain-affected Twenty20 international against England Morkel steamed in and produced a full toss with his first ball. His third was also full, but wide, very wide. Unlike Harmison's ball at the Gabba almost six years ago, which infamously evaded Justin Langer by so far that it landed in the hands of Andrew Flintoff at second slip, Morkel's sped straight to the fineleg boundary for four.
Bowling to England's Craig Kieswetter, the 27-year-old flashed down the leg side by so far that the wayward ball missed the pitch by close to a metre. To compound his misery, South Africa was beaten by 28 runs in the third and final match of the Twenty20 series, which ended level at 1-1. Morkel is far from alone in his embarrassment.
Australian swing bowler Ben Hilfenhaus joined the pantheon of bowling ignominy in January 2011, with the third ball of his 38th over of England’s first innings of the fourth Ashes Test at the SCG. Hilfenhaus, enduring a nightmare series in which he lost his swerve and became a scapegoat for the humiliated Australians, bowled a delivery which slipped from his hand and slunk away into the off- side. It seemed both an appropriate and inevitable symbolic moment for the humbled home team.
The Tasmanian quick subsequently revived his career with a fine series against India last summer – perhaps that embarrassing delivery was the turning point. It was the third-last ball he bowled in that horror series, lost 3-1 by Australia, in which he took just seven wickets at an average of 59 from 157 overs, at a strike rate of 135.29.
But two ball later, he snared Chris Tremlett, caught behind by Brad Haddin, to end of the England innings at just the measly 644. And it gave him his best figures of the series: 3-121 off 38.5 overs. Most inglorious deliveries tend to occur when the team is at a low ebb, as in Hilfenhaus’ case, or when it is about to go poorly, as in Harmison’s ominous misfire.
Mercurial Pakistani all-rounder Abdul Razzaq followed the pattern with the first ball of his team’s match against New Zealand in 2010. Razzaq charged in, put everything into his delivery stride … and the ball slipped out at half rat-power, before rolling away slowly towards square leg. Burly Kiwi opener Jesse Ryder considered chasing the ball in order to belt it for four, but soon lost heart, so far from him had it travelled. Razzaq, like Hilfenhaus, recovered quickly – he dismissed Ryder next ball. Perhaps the ridiculously wide delivery is an effective distraction device for a desperate fast bowler? But Pakistan lost.
Phil Tuffnell was not spared by combative Kiwi middle-order batsman Craig McMillan when the quirky left-arm spinner tossed up a blancmange during the third Test between England and New Zealand at Old Trafford in 1999. The tubby righthander immediately skipped six metres from his crease to the legside and smashed the barely moving ball to the boundary. It was the sort of bizarre occurrence we see all too rarely from the modern English team, which has become conspicuously competent.
Most of the purveyors of ludicrous international deliveries have had long and distinguished careers. The bowler of possibly the worst-ever international bowling spell was not so lucky. Glenn Trimble’s two-match one-day international career is proof that cricket is a cruel game. On debut against New Zealand at the WACA in 1986, his nerves appeared jangled by dropping a relatively simple catch in the gully early in the innings.Summoned to the bowling crease with the Kiwis in disarray at 4-61, Trimble shook his hand free of sweat as he came in for his first ball. It didn’t work. The first delivery the solidly built all-rounder sent down was a slow bean-ball which a shocked Jeff Crowe fended off. A shocked Wayne Phillips dropped the catch behind the stumps, and the shocked umpire called no-ball.
The next delivery was also a monstrous fullie, which was dispatched for four. These were the days before deliberately bowling full tosses was in vogue in oneday cricket. When hapless Trimble tried to adjust his length, he bowled long-hops so rank that the batsmen could barely reach them. However, when they did, they gave up another two chances. One was a howler dropped at fine leg, another a full toss parried through mid-wicket.
One commentator was brutally honest, saying that Trimble’s lack of control was making the cricket "farcical" every time he became involved. The more measured, and compassionate Richie Benaud said of possibly the worst spell in international cricket history: "Trimble was expensive".
A fine cricketer for Queensland, Trimble deserved some mercy.
Not so the well-paid professionals like Harmison and Morkel. Their bloopers are heartwarming fodder for park cricketers the world over.