My father was hardly ever wrong
I can recall his meticulously arranged office table, with just a polished wooden pencil holder, holding three pencils. He never stacked his table with files or papers even though he was the Human Resources Director of a multinational and had many files and papers to maintain. Everything was stored in an orderly manner in drawers. He always told me that a messy table, to him, displayed a messy mind. As a result of this when I started work as a teacher, I always made sure my classroom was absolutely clutter free and things were neat and tidy at the beginning and end of each day.
I remember his well-polished pure leather brown briefcase. It had the most distinctly amazing fragrance as he would polish it ever so often and I would help him to do so. Inside would be a few files, neatly placed, with one well-sharpened pencil along with his Parker pen which he used for signing. On the very few days that he would bring work home, I would most often sit with him fascinated at the way he would go through job applications using his ‘pencil’.
I always had my eye on his stationery as he and I shared a common passion for all types of stationery and we would spend hours inside bookshops and the stationery section of any departmental store selecting different types of pens and markers. However, he would never let me have a single pencil or eraser that he brought home from work. He always told me that it was office property and that we must never even take a ‘pin’ that does not belong to us. Young as I was at that time, I knew that I was learning valuable lessons in life from my father. Not just by his words but by the honest way which he lived life.
He made sure that he brought my brother up like a ‘real boy’ in order that he would end up a ‘real man’ like the amazing man he has become today. Things were not given easily to Aiya. He had to work hard for them. On the other hand, he gave me everything and more. But, that is as far as I was spoilt by him. I could never leave home without his permission or being chaperoned and my chaperone always had to be him. The few occasions I managed to be out, my curfew was 5 p.m. This was so even after the age of 25. It was his view that it was not appropriate for his daughter to be out of home after 5 p.m. Going through this was not at all easy, but when I look back now I cannot thank him enough. I maintained my dignity and my innocence in life, because of him. What more can a daughter ask for in a father?
My mother, Thathi simply loved. I know every aspect of their beautiful love story as related to me by Ammi. For 29 years I saw it lived out in front of me, day in day out. He never missed out on Valentine’s Day and got more and more romantic as the years went by. He never failed to buy her a single plastic rose which she would lovingly place (plastic wrapping and all) on the refrigerator until the following year. I can recall how he would call her many times a day, from work. Then he would come home and call her name many times from their bedroom. He always wanted her somewhere close and I would listen from my room and think ‘he simply cannot live without her’.
After his retirement, Thathi became ever more dependent on Ammi and they truly became inseparable. It is no wonder then that at the very end when he was heavily sedated, he opened his eyes and raised his head for the very last time, when Ammi called out to him; he did it just to look into the eyes of his loving, devoted wife for the very last time. He did it just for her.
Like any family we have had our ups and downs. I am about to become a parent very soon and realise that even though we expect them to be, no parent is ever perfect. But I wish to recall nothing negative. In my mind, my father deserves all the respect and more that can be given to him for the incredible husband and father he was to our family. Through his God fearing ways, he led us by example and the loss in our lives without him can only be filled with the absolute certainty that he is resting in the loving arms of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, whose love for him is greater than our own.
Thank you Jesus for your favour on the life of our precious Thathi.