Achcha had a big heart and embodied the noble tradition of service to others
Describing my grandmother and how much she meant to me and to many others is no easy task, so I will start from the very beginning. I suppose the first grandchild is always special. I can only imagine how much my birth and becoming a grandmother meant to Achcha. It was a title she held proudly for 23 and a half years and every single day she was a shining example of what all grandchildren wish a grandmother to be. I remember very few things from my early childhood. But what I do recollect vividly is planting beanstalks in the garden under Achcha’s supervision. Achcha spent countless hours and days looking after my every need in the first few years of my life. Some of the stories she read to me, I remember to this day. Achcha was and always will be my first favourite person in the whole wide world. When people used to ask me who my favourite parent was, I used to proudly proclaim it was Achcha, much to the embarrassment of my parents.
Achcha took immense joy in presenting gifts to her grandchildren. Nangi and I would often remark that she could make pocket money appear from thin air as the sums she bestowed upon us each year grew better than any investment we will ever make.
But Achcha’s contributions to me were not just monetary. For many years she taught me Sinhala and Buddhism diligently, spending countless hours of her own personal time. I am a tutor by trade, but I will never ever have the patience to sit with a 10-year-old for 6 hours at a time and motivate him to learn the unlearnable. Achcha’s hard work paid off as I got 90s in both Sinhala and Buddhism in my final years at Royal. With this she taught me that hard work will always be rewarded and one must never give up in the face of seemingly unsurmountable challenges. The biggest challenge for me now, is coping with the knowledge that she isn’t available at the end of a phone or Skype chat, but I am certain the legacy she has left will help all of us move forwards with life and live it to the fullest.
Of all the things she has done for me, I believe teaching me the Theravada Buddhist tradition with immense zeal and passion is the most significant. She encouraged me to attend danas and banas and recite Suttas and do poojas. For many years she has led the way for me in this regard, and now the responsibility of having to do all of this without her is a prospect I must face with fortitude.
Achcha had a big heart and embodied the noble tradition of service to others. Over the years, her efforts to improve the lives of thousands of her fellow human beings with no benefit to herself left a profound impact on myself and many others. In a world with much injustice and selfish behaviour, she served as light in the darkness to a little boy in need of guidance and direction. For this I am eternally grateful, and the only way we can repay my debt to her is to impart this wisdom to as many others without delay. We can only hope to honour her memory by continuing her noble work.
If there is any consolation in her passing, it is that she has been prepared for it better than anyone I have known. Every so often she would comment on a flower wilting or a death of a good friend with “Can you see? All that arises must pass away”. Today I finally”see”. But as for Achcha, she was always aware that this day would come, although her prediction was at least 20 years too late. At times it was almost as if she wanted to cease living to prove a point. Most people who hold such notions live a life of pessimism and despair, but certainly not Achcha. She was never one to remain idle, even in the face of significant health con- cerns and limitations on her lifestyle. She was one of the most active participants in her community and many knew her to be a truly remarkable lady.
Despite the very high standards of character and discipline Achcha set for me, she was also remarkably compassionate and understanding. She has been with me through my highest highs and lowest lows. She is one of the only people who always treated me with the same love and respect no matter what the situation or consequences. She was even content with me mispronouncing “Achchi” all my life. There many grandmothers in this world, but there was only and will only ever be one Achcha.
May she attain Nibbana.