With mother away, they need a place they can call home
A practical solution to restrict children’s institutionalisation due to mothers’ migration for work overseas
For me the reason to conduct research on “Life chances of children and young people in institutional care” was always conscious and has never changed direction.
Recalling my childhood experiences of being closely acquainted with children’s homes and my adult life experiences managing a girls’ children’s home, I realized institutionalized children’s rights called for my ethical responsibility and thus influenced my wish to be an advocate for children and their rights.
Let me first explain why, under the Department of Probation and Child Care Services (DPCCS) of the North Western Province (NWP), I pioneered the management of a girls’ home instead of a boys’ home.
When I met the Commissioner of DPCCS of the NWP, he explained that while there were vacant beds in the boys’ children’s homes, the girls’ homes were overcrowded. He added that it is easy to find sponsors who wish to support boys’ homes because they were deemed less challenging and did not carry the added risk and responsibility of nurturing girls through to maturity, especially when socializing girls is a greater task as they get older.
Furthermore, children in institutional care, primarily orphans, abandoned and destitute, are a marginalized group. Irrespective of their gender these institutionalized children are vulnerable to their rights being abused because of a lack of parental care. Yet girls fall into the most marginalized group.
In Sri Lanka, mostly Buddhist and Hindu temples, Anglican and Catholic churches and Islamic mosques take the leadership in running children’s homes. The public has great respect and reliance on monks, gurus, priests, bishops, and other religious leaders. Therefore, well-wishers tend to fund these temples, churches or mosques-run homes, rather than private organizations as they believe the funds they provide are used efficiently by these religious leaderships.
The children’s homes managed by these institutions are mostly boys’ homes as it is commonly regarded as inappropriate for religious institutions to run girls homes. Social and cultural attitudes too have favoured boys’ homes.
A number of studies and my practical research demonstrate that the major cause for children’s institutionalization has been the adverse effects of poverty. Around 30 percent of our children in institutions are from families where mothers have gone overseas to work as domestic labourers. The truth behind the migration of Sri Lankan women is due to the adverse effects of poverty.
The mother working abroad often leaves her children behind in her husband’s care. The deprivation of care is undesirable and cannot be replaced by her earnings, but this does provide a way to look after the children’s physical needs. Mostly this cash falls into the hands of the father. The mother expects her husband to use this money to feed the children, support their schooling, address any health issues, save and hopefully to maintain and furnish their house.
It often works the opposite way. This money is a fortune to her husband. His lack of education on how to manage the money and various unethical practices such as addiction to drugs and/or alcohol, gambling and buying sexual favours simply consume every cent that his wife sends.
Managers’ of homes interviewed by me highlight this sad but not uncommon scenario of worsening family dynamics, both financially and socially.
When the mother was at home, despite financial difficulties, there was some kind of a hold and a voice to advocate for the family. While the mother is working abroad, a father may find the loneliness intense and turn to drink or drugs. He may fall into bad company which could jeopardise the children’s safety.
To overcome the deteriorating family circumstances, institutionalization of the children is sought. This was succinctly conveyed by a Commissioner of a provincial department of Probation and Child Care Services, when he said:
“After a mother leaves the family behind for working abroad, the circumstances now pave the way for the children’s institutionalisation. The school or the community who witness the family’s deterioration would report to the officials about the threat to these children from their father’s acts and behaviour. Or else, the father himself may want to have his children institutionalized so that he can engage in his wasteful ways. He contrives several reasons for such a request. He claims that his wife has gone abroad and he cannot go to work when the children are at home as it would be a significant risk to their security and safety. To justify his reasons he may further claim that his wife does not send him any money and that he must find work for the children’s sake.”
There are no mechanisms within the system to prove that the father’s request is genuine. Thus, officials tend to approve his request and send the children into a children’s home. If the officials were to make a comprehensive search of documents and seek evidence from the different agencies and the neighbourhood, there is a distinct possibility that the appeal would be found to be false. The lack of coordination between governmental departments makes such attempts rare and ultimately the children are admitted to a home. When children are institutionalized, the responsibility is removed from the father leaving him free to behave in whatever the manner he chooses which often leads the family towards a devastating and catastrophic collapse.
In summary, migration of mothers for work overseas has significantly contributed to children’s institutionalization in Sri Lanka. Researching and finding practical alternatives to institutionalization has been a present day debate.
A manager of a girls’ home has some suggestions:
“To address this issue, the government should regulate a system for children’s well-being from the inception of the story of parents’ decisions to work abroad. This could lead to an agreement between the parents and the government to decide who is going to take over the well-being of the child while the parent works abroad. This type of mechanism could avoid unnecessary institutionalization and maintain family integrity.”
“If the intention of mothers for working overseas is the well-being of their families, those families should be educated on how to achieve their objective. Financial and material achievements of the neighbours and the relatives who have experienced foreign employment have persuaded these parents toward their decision on working overseas. Once it is embedded in their mind, it is difficult to educate them on the consequences of their decision. The more economic and domestic dilemmas they encounter, the more they incline towards finding a job overseas”.
This manager’s opinion through his experience reveals that the mothers’ decision to find work abroad is mainly for the purpose of finding a way to relieve the physical and emotional pressures that they suffer under a hectic family atmosphere. They are blind to the drastic consequences that they would have to conquer in future due to their decision. Thus he says that it is meaningless to attempt changing their attitudes, rather help them with their decision.
“It is the Child Rights Promotion Officers’ (CRPOs) responsibility to find out if there are children who would be affected due to parents’ decisions to working overseas. Assessing the family dynamics would give a better picture of the future consequences when the mother leaves the family and thereby the CRPOs can respond to such concerns before their occurrence.”
He proposes that the divisional secretariat should mediate to find the most appropriate alternative care for the needy children while the mother is away. CRPO with the recommendation of the divisional secretary should prepare an agreement between the parents and the government on how the children are to be looked after during their absence. The manager emphasises that the agreement should indicate the financial commitment from the family for looking after the child.
He further explains that; “In the Sri Lankan context, mostly the overseas recruitment agencies find domestic labour opportunities for women. These agencies with their overseas partners decide the salaries for their employees. Thus, the government can add such agencies into the agreement and retrieve the payment that is intended for nurturing the child”.
When there is a monitoring process by the government officials, there is a higher potential to look after the child within their natural birth environment. As such, the remaining parent (mainly the father) has the least chance to fall into unethical practices. If it is not appropriate to keep the child in their birth environment, the next best alternative to parental care would be by relatives.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles or the like may be willing to volunteer to care for the child in their homes, but their own financial obligations might discourage them. However, the potential for financial backing for their contribution would indeed assist to select an appropriate relative in the best interest of the child. The chosen relative can be paid a sufficient amount from the portion that is sent by the child’s parent and the officials can advocate for the child’s health, safety, education and safeguard their fundamental rights. Relative care opportunity helps the child to be brought up in a similar environment to their family and reduces the pressure and the trauma that he would have to endure if cared for under an institutional care setting. The manager adds; “The last resort should be institutional care. Thus, if relative care is deemed impossible, a familylike care environment should be sought. Neighbourhood, family friend or foster care can be investigated. Financial assistance to these carers as in a similar manner to relative care gives officials the authority in determining the sort of facility given to the child”.
The manager confirms that only if such family-like care is impossible, the last resort would be institutional care. He emphasises that even if the child is sent to an institution, there should be a contribution to the care facilitators from the earnings of the parent overseas. Such contribution eases the financial management of the institution and maximises the care and protection that can be offered to the child. However, for those children who have already been institutionalized under these circumstances, a monitoring process should be implemented to identify their re-integration capabilities. The first resort should be re-uniting them with their natural parents and, failing that the possibility of care by relatives should be investigated.
The commonly assumed accepted notion is that the child should be institutionalized as a ‘last resort’ and ‘in the best interest of the child’. However, thousands of children are discarded into institutions as a matter of course due to lack of concern and reluctance to explore alternatives. Furthermore, there is an unfounded belief in the ability of institutions to rehabilitate, care and protect the child. It is deemed to be the objective of institutionalization yet, ironically, the failure to achieve these objectives becomes more the justification for the existence of such institutions.
(The writer is a PhD student at Flinders University, Adelaide, Australia. The above research is funded by the Australian Government’s Endeavour Scholarships and Fellowships)