Smile with your child
The headline above is obviously trite. To some, it might even be offensive. Why should anybody advice parents to smile with their own children? Is it not what they do all the time?
A DISTURBING OBSERVATION
In my long career as a school Principal, I have made it a practice to stand near the school entrance to receive the students and teachers as they come in the morning.
Many students and teachers have a smile on their face as they come in. However, there are many children and even small children who do not smile.
The observation is disturbing as I stated in the heading of the paragraph. The inference is alarming. Is it that they do not smile or do not know how to smile?
Are we losing the ability to smile?
WHY ONLY ONE WORD?
It has always being baffling me why our language has only one word to mean both ‘smile’ and ‘laugh’.
In English, we smile with people and laugh at them. Has the subtle difference lost its meaning when we think in Sinhala?
Traditionally and historically, Sri Lanka is known to be a country where people are intrinsically hospitable and known to have a smile on their face when they meet strangers.
How and why is this unique and valuable trait disappearing?
MUSCLES REQUIRED
There is an old saying that one use only 17 facial muscles to smile whereas you need to use 43 muscles to frown. Some say it is 26 against 62.
Whatever the numbers are, the message is that it is easier to smile than to frown. Still many people wish to go the extra mile and frown instead of smile. SomabandhuKodikara (B.Sc., Dip. in Edu., IDEPA) Principal (Primary School) Vidura College - Colombo
This reminds me about a poem written in German by dramatist Bertolt Brecht, where he studies a picture of a Japanese Samurai warrior. The artist has taken great pains to paint the ferocious frown on the face of the Samurai mask using intricate lines and colours. Brecht reflects:
On my wall hangs a Japanese carving, the mask of an evil demon, decorated with gold lacquer. Sympathetically I observe the swollen veins of the forehead, indicating what a strain it is to be evil.
Brecht believes and opines that the intrinsic nature of humankind is to be good.
There is another old saying that humans are the only animals that are able to smile.
Do we agree with Brecht that goodness is the natural state – not cruelty, jealousy, insincerity, selfishness or simply cussedness?
MESSAGES SENT
With facial expressions humans transmit a variety of messages across. It tells others about your emotional state, mood, feelings, attitude, mental wellbeing, personality, etc. Most importantly a smile is a sign of friendliness.
N e u ro Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches us that it is even more important to understand what messages are sent by you, to yourself. This is called Self Talk. Your brain and subconscious mind are attuned to receive subtle messages sent by you. They are in fact eavesdropping on you.
When your face has a smile always, it is interpreted by your subconscious mind that you are happy.
Anyone who is happy should also be healthy. It will take the unspoken secret command and activate itself to make you healthy.
TRAIN YOURSELF TO SMILE
Anyone who does not have a natural smile on his or her face may follow the simple exercise given below.
When you get up in the morning, see yourself in the bathroom mirror, smile with yourself and say ‘I love you’. Make it a daily ritual, and do it with sincerity. Gather as much of loving kindness as possible when you do it. Do this without fail for 21 days.
For the benefit of skeptics: Twenty one days is what it takes to form neural pathways.
THE THREE METRE RULE
I always instruct teachers in schools where I have been the Principal, to practice the three metre rule. Some items in the teachers’ tool given below might interest parents too. Practice them at home.
The 3 Metre Rule
Name this month Smiles’ Encourage students to do research on the aura of a person Discuss how the aura is affected by external influences and how the aura affects the immediate environment Talk to students about ‘personal space’ Discuss about the value of compassion, friendship, kindness, non-violence Build up a consensus about being happy We are happy because we smile: Not the other way about. (NLP) An average child smiles 300 times per day. An average adult – 15 times a day Get students to do a research to find out the truth of the above statement Tell the students to make a tally count of the number of times a teacher smiles during a period. Do a Google Search on ‘ Laughter Therapy’ and read as much about it as possible. Introduce The 3 M Rule stated below, to the students. When any person enters your personal space -SMILE Practice the 3m rule at all times Observe how it changes the classroom environment Make a determined effort and practice it for 21 days. Observe how it changes your life ‘ The Month of