Looking back on a beautiful friendship
It was a bright sunny morning in July 2005 when I walked down a pathway strewn with Ahala flowers – fallen from the floral cascades above; the venue was a well known hospital in Colombo.
As I limped into the patients’ waiting room with some trepidation, I caught sight of a calm, contemplative gentleman taking a seat, accompanied by an European looking lady on a cane. I little realized then that they were going to be “kalyana mithrayo” to us. They were no other than Harendra and Neleeka de Silva.
Days sped by, and we bumped into the couple again in Kataragama where we got talking. This was the commencement of a beautiful friendship which was sadly interrupted by Hare’s untimely demise two years ago.
Hare’s signature buzzwords were “Metta” and “Dhana”. He was an ardent and devoted Buddhist. He inspired me with his liberal and tolerant attitude and exemplary actions in the implementation of the tenets of Buddhism.
He gave Dhana to the monks on a regular basis – not only to the clergy in the temple but also to those monks in meditation at the Aramaya that he visited. In this venture he was ably supported by Neleeka who prepared and still prepares the Dhana with meticulous attention to detail. Not only did he engage in Dhana, he encouraged the rest of us to duly participate in conjunction, strictly on our terms, thus sharing in the merit accruable.
Another significant act of his was the dissemination of the Dhamma. He would painstakingly explain in detail salient features of life in the light of Buddhist doctrine. He substantiated this further by purchasing appropriate literature for distribution. If the required publications were out of print, he would take the trouble to photocopy and bind the literature at his personal expense and hand it over. To me a Hindu Tamil, he selected suitable written works in English and went to extents to explain the underlying concepts of the Dhamma. He possessed an invaluable library of books on Buddhism and allied topics which was generously donated to the New England Buddhist Vihara in the US after his demise.
His domestic staff he treated with unrivalled dignity. Their emoluments comprised not only of a salary with meals and beverage but regular provision of dry rations as well for the family. Reimbursement of medical expenditure was also undertaken. When cheated, he reprimanded them and forgave in genuine altruistic manner.
He was a true son of Mother Lanka and to reiterate, a staunch practising Buddhist. His demise has created an irreparable vacuum in the midst of his close associates. May he attain the golden goal of Nirvana which he strived and aspired for during his tenure of 74 years.
In consolation to Neleeka and members of his family, I quote below from the Bhagavad Gita –
For death is certain to one who is born, to one who is dead birth is certain. Therefore thou shall not grieve for what is unavoidable.