With man and beast
to consist of some 25 animals who have made this patch of jungle their habitat.
There is one curious aspect to all this. The Wildlife chaps are there to stop homo sapiens from conducting themselves like wild animals and invading the territory of the pachyderms. After all Hambantota is ‘enemy territory’-- politically speaking -- and elephants represent the UNP whose party-symbol is the elephant.
So it would seem that some UNP bigwig has thought it necessary to protect the elephants from obstreperous cricket fans from the Rajapaksa clan.
Maybe Law and Order Minister Ratnayaka might well seek the assistance of the Wildlife chaps to maintain peace when the BBS next flexes its muscles and Padeniya’s stethoscope- toting hordes undertake a padayathra to the closest private hospitals leaving thousands of suffering patients to fend for themselves.
But back at the Mahinda Rajapaksa International Cricket Stadium where the fifth ODI match is about to start……
“As you come over to us Sri Lanka has won the toss and elected to field. In the commentary box with me is Ali Pachoris well- known match- fixer who last year captained the Sri Lanka Bribe Takers team that won the Sri Lanka Cricket trophy beating Sri Lankan Airlines Board Eleven whose captain did not play as he was in the simulator struggling to pass a flight test without crash landing.
“Here comes Mathews leading his men out, a few of them rather pot- bellied. Mathews is setting the field. Zimbabwe’s opening pair is walking or rather doing a few dance steps and bending exercises on the way to the wicket. Opener Hamilton Masakadza takes his guard. He is looking around the field now as Mathews makes a few adjustments bringing gully closer and pushing extra cover further back.
“Masakadza looks at the leg side field. His eyes settle on a clump of trees some yards from where deep square leg would have been. His eyes are glued to that jungle spot just about 50 yards from the boundary.”
“Something is definitely wrong here. Good heavens. Masakadza throws his bat in the air and takes to his heels, running as fast as his padded legs could carry him. He races past cover point, third man and then jumps over the boundary line and heads for the trees outside.
“The sounds of a trumpet break the silence. Pachoris here says the “papare” band is tuning up. If that is so they should find another trumpeter, maybe Trump himself or Sri Lanka Cricket could get somebody who could double up as coach.
“Good got there is an elephant emerging from the jungle beyond deep-square leg and charges onto the grounds. She is followed by a smaller elephant and both rush towards the pitch. They stomp on the stumps and keep trotting -- or whatever elephants do -- towards where a few minutes ago gully crouched waiting to drop a catch.
“The two-legged chaps are running like hell about 50 yards ahead of the pachyderms intent on disrupting the game -umpires, cricketers, and the Wildlife officers who are well in front of the others.
“Actually some cricketers do need to go through a fitness regime seeing how the elephants seem to be catching up with the disappearing players.
“The elephants have stopped yards away from the commentary box and are advancing slowly. They have their eyes trained in our direction. Elephants are supposed to have poor eyesight. That might be so. But I’m not waiting to find out. So see you in Colombo -- if we are lucky enough to get there.”