BY NEVILLE DE SILVA

Hardly a day passes without more proof being added to that much touted advertising blurb which has misled thousands of tourists over the years. True, Sri Lanka is the “Wonder of Asia” but not for the reasons that brought them rushing to our shores. Time, they thought, was running out to savour them, most of which exist only in the world of make-believe conjured up by tourism promoters and others after foreign moola.

The real wonders are often hidden from foreign eyes, found in fleeting moments of Sri Lankan reality or take time to unearth. How many tanning themselves by the seaside or dodging dengue- carrying mosquitoes would have read, for instance of the hilarious (not for the victims though) story emanating last week from the deep South.

It was after the last game at Sooriyawewa’s cricket grounds where Sri Lanka’s cricket reputation dipped lower than the temperature in the Antarctic and the country’s captain did the honourable thing and committed hara kiri, metaphorically speaking of course.

Then without any ado two others who have now and then worn the mantle of the departed skipper were quickly rustled up and paraded. When these two will turn into sacrificial lambs to be presented to the chopping block, one never knows.

If more cricketing tragedies lie ahead do not be surprised if they go the way of some other captains and coaches. In the meantime officials will soon clear their throats and polish their vocabulary before falling back on traditional rounds of bluster and blunder before taking wing to more salubrious climes where mosquitoes, flies and rotting and uncollected garbage do not besmirch their upper crust life styles.

When the last game ended at the Mahinda Rajapaksa International Cricket Stadium and Sri Lanka’s self- glorified cricket administrators and selectors (already graciously provided another sixmonths of oxygen) left Hambantota some think with tails between the legs, another comic opera was being played out in the now deserted stadium.

A dozen or more of temporarily- hired ground staff were told to take off their pants which were probably presented to them with ceremony if not with pomp to be worn for the duration of the ODI matches to be played there. No mention is made of a two-piece uniform. It seems that trousers were the centrepiece of this story. Quite understandably, people running around without their pants do attract enough attention.

So after six days of wear and apparently no tear the youthful staff went to collect their wages from the officials who by this time had come up with a slogan of their own, reminiscent of the ‘wonder’ nonsense that brought misguided tourists scampering to get here before the lights went out, so to say.

As the public is well aware the cricket authorities of recent years whether they went under the institutional name of Sri Lanka Cricket Board or Sri Lanka Cricket are collectively of great intellectual worth. They are deserving subjects for the great portrait artists of our time. They should be hung ( the portraits, that is, not the officials) in the ICC’s Hall of Fame ( critics might be inclined to add a two-letter prefix to the last word) if such a structure exists or wherever public attention is most focused such as police stations.

But then, they are critics no as Sri Lankans say, and are bound to make unkind remarks which are however several degrees more civilised than the utteranc- es of that apology for Buddhist thought and teachings called Galgoda (or whatever) Gnanasara whose conduct qualifies him for attire that should certainly not be saffron coloured.

Our pants for your pay! That was the message that went out from the custodians of the Sooriyawewa stadium. Whether these are permanent guardians or not of the little-used sports ground where cricket is played only at night by teams drawn from the nearby elephant sanctuary, is not clear.

Whatever it is the poor lads minus the worthy pants that carried the Sri Lanka Cricket logo were seen frolicking in the Indian Ocean waters while the pants collectors were probably counting the trousers to see nothing so valuable as a garment with a cricket logo had gone missing.

When the story of the pants for pay deal hit the news outlets the ho- ha ( or is it ha- ho) that followed prompted our great administrators to issue a statement that they thought would say finis to this unsavoury episode and modulate the criticism that our cricket administrators open themselves to, judging by media reports and comments.

But the individual who drafted the statement was either in a terrible hurry to wash their official hands of what had happened or was not particularly choosy of how he wanted to say it, reminding one of gaffes that so-called diplomats are also prone to make as this column has pointed out