Is a woman’s choice of attire a reason to abuse her?
Much to my regret, the pressures of work and family took a toll on “Voice for Women” which resulted in a slight disruption in the column, but there have been so many disturbing issues of late that directly affect us women that it was a matter of great motivation to ensure this column continues! So along with apologies for the lull, I am back and I shall endeavour to continue to be a Voice for Women within the sphere of print media as well.
An issue causing waves of discontent and disgust amongst the more ‘enlightened’ community at large is that female freedom, particularly that from sexual harassment, is not taken seriously enough nor given adequate attention. The public is crying out for more awareness for equality of the sexes, especially with regard to this aspect, and respect for people and their individual choices in general. The issue is particularly ironic, given that it has come to the fore during the month when the world celebrates ‘International Day of the Girl Child’. Like International Women’s Day on March 8, one may question the merits of needing such a day – Surely everyday should be Women’s/Girl’s day, but given the reality of the status quo, and in the interest of discussing a more pertinent issue, I will leave that question with the statement that at present and until we have finally ‘arrived’ at true social equality, any and all awareness helps. Thus these assigned Days for celebrating and drawing attention to girls and women, continues to help.
With so many issues pertaining to the vile notion of sexual harassment of both the sexes, for the purposes of the article, I would like to focus on the female and her choice of behaviour and dress and the effect and impact this could and should have on the eradication of Sexual Harassment.
I have been observing with interest how many big names in the Hollywood film industry have been recently turning their gaze to the proverbial – or in this case not so proverbial but horrifyingly realistic – notion of the Casting Couch. It has been the most public secret in the Industry, amongst many for a very long time, and sadly in all likelihood is not confined to simply the silver screen but has infected most of the Entertainment industry too.
It is not only relevant to the prominent and visible ‘stars’ of the industry like the leading ladies on screen and stage. It is also relevant to those who work in less ‘visible’ - although no less important roles - such as the waitresses and service personnel of the entertainment industry. The notion of sexual harassment is nothing new and has been around for a long time. It is simply not always talked about and certainly not seen as something to be taken seriously enough to take action against it. One often hears the phrase, “It goes with the territory” and the fact that so many of us have done so little to stand up against it, is in fact very distressing and perhaps part of the problem. ‘Better late than never’ comes to mind, and whilst this is horribly insufficient to correct the wrongs of the past, this renewed wave of awareness will hopefully reduce and someday even eradicate the wrongs of the future.
If the “#Me Too” Status of (mostly) women posted on a popular social media site, from numerous walks, stages and ages of life, involved in varied and vivid careers, from all around the Globe is anything to go by, then this notion of harassment and any regard for privacy and respect for a fellow human being, whether they be male or female, has been sorely lacking. Worse, it becomes apparent as one delves deeper under the surface, that it has had no boundaries, is completely non-discriminatory and worst of all, considered acceptable behaviour.
Sexual Harassment, of anyone, by anyone, is NEVER ACCEPTABLE. When it is the strong, preying on the weak, it is deplorable, and when it is accepted as being common place and acceptable, because, after all they are ‘asking for it’ due to their behaviour/dress/manner/ demeaner, it is downright disgusting. The worst offenders are those who somehow believe that females should adhere to some standard ‘modest’ dress code and that if they step out of that mode by dressing ‘revealingly’, behaving ‘provocatively’ or by speaking ‘flirtatiously’, women / girls (for the most part) should have expected it and worse yet, they deserved it.
At a time when ‘Freedom’ is the buzz word of the day, and being authentic is considered the ultimate, it is simply mind boggling and absurd, that this same freedom and authenticity is curtailed when it comes to the attire and behaviour of ladies in particular. That somehow being even slightly less modestly dressed than some imaginary standard, somehow allows one person to cat call, holler, comment, objectify or worse, force unwanted attention on another person, all with the justification that by doing so, they ‘asked for it’.
Despite Society sometimes expecting otherwise, in my mind, there is no question that the fault/blame/deplorable behaviour lies with the perpetrator. Irrespective of what the victim wears or even doesn’t wear, the problem lies not with the person expressing themselves and their individuality, but with the person who sees as it as an invitation to intimidate and harass another. When such behaviour is directed at one who can stand up for themselves, it is not as damaging, though no less deplorable. However, when it is directed at one who feels threatened, intimidated and worse, is unable to defend themselves against the onslaught, then it becomes a punishable offence.
So where does this stem from? Why is it that it is considered commonplace and not so offensive to carry on in such a manner? In my mind, at the very root of the issue is apathy and indifference. If people cared enough to make it known that it was simply not alright and totally unacceptable, then things could begin to change. We as a society could be more informed and more vocal and present when it comes to demanding better behaviour. As parents of a son and daughter, my husband and I are always try to impress upon our son, the need to treat not only his sister but all people with respect and kindness, and of course, vice versa. This of course also includes, being aware that anything that hurts another, is NOT ok. So perhaps one way to fashion society for the future is by first educating our own children and instilling in them a strong understanding that it is so very important to respect fellow human beings and their choices and celebrate rather than ridicule their differences.
I for one believe that the change must come not from the wearer of the revealing clothes, irrespective of the motivation and intention behind it. Instead the change must come from the person who sees it as an invitation to pursue, when there was none. It is the individual who sees the world cross eyed who must make the effort to straighten his vision. Whilst many celebrities around the world have vehemently stood up, spoken out and promoted action towards bringing about an end to Violence Against Women, I was most moved and encouraged to hear two honest-to-goodness-heros of Sri Lankan and World Cricket, Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardena recently put it so succinctly during one such Educational Programme surrounded by schoolgirls: “Is a female’s choice of attire, a reason to abuse her…”
The dawn of the Il full moon Poya concluded the three months’ vassana or the rainy season in ancient India when monks who took shelter indoors for the rains, went forth to propagate the Dhamma.
During the time of the Buddha, monks, being mendicant recluses who had renounced the world as disciples of the Buddha, had no permanent abode. With temples and monasteries being scarce, bhikkhus sought shelter in caves or sat under the cover of trees and indulged in religious contemplation and meditation. They survived on fruits, nuts and edible leaves or went on pindapatha from house to house with the begging bowl for food.
Once, 30 forest monks from the ancient Paweyya state who had spent the vas or vassana season in Saketha Nuwara, travelled to meet the Buddha when they were caught in a storm. They arrived soaked, their robes splashed with mud at Sravasthi, Jethavanaraamaya where the Buddha was spending the vas season. They had no change of clothes but only the trivasa (robe of three parts) which they were wearing when the Buddha granted permission for monks to accept a new robe. This act was called Katinaskaranaya which gave way for the laity to make robes for monks on completing the vas retreat and the paavarana ceremony – a ceremony which was the first ritual where monks evaluated their own and each others’ conduct to establish purity of their vinaya or the code of discipline.
Gautama Buddha spent His first vas retreat since His Enlightenment at Isipathanaramaya in Varanasi, the grove where he met his first five disciples to whom He preached the Dhammachakra. During the early years of Buddhism, monks were permitted to accept the invitation of laymen to take shelter in their households during the vassana season. This was called “vas vaseema” when the monks while in residence, taught the dhamma to the inmates and those who attended on them.
The vas season therefore, was an occasion for the laymen to accumulate merit and enrich themselves spiritually as they learnt the dhamma from the monks who remained stationed in their households. During the “vas vaseema,” the monks did not go on pindapatha until the vas season was over which was after the Il Full Moon Poya and the ordinary folks rejoiced in the opportunity to take care of the mendicants in their households and enhance themselves spiritually. The three-months’ vassana retreat extended from Esala Full Moon Poya to Il Full Moon Poya. Towards the end of the vassana retreat, during the time of Vap Full Moon Poya, the laity got down to stitch the robe which they offered to the monk before Il Poya, with utmost devotion.
The act over the years, progressed into a pinkama when devotees offered the Katina and whatever they could afford towards the monks. The most significant component of the pinkama was the offering of the Katina or the robe to the Sangha. The Buddha who Himself observed vas declared that the offer of the Katina was the noblest religious act which afforded Buddhist devotees to accumulate limitless merit. It was considered as one of the eight great meritorious acts of Theravada Buddhism.
The stitching of the robe and the labour that went into it were considered acts of high esteem. The Katina was prepared by sewing together many pieces of cloth. This followed the earliest practice of making the robe with scraps of discarded cloth. The robe once stitched, was dyed with saffron. Some mendicants, Buddhist literature reveals, stitched the robe that had been taken from the cloth in which bodies were wrapped.
The preparation of the robe could not be done as one pleased; there were rules that had to be observed. The Katinaya had to be cut and sewn while stationed in one single place and had to be completed within the day. Unlike the Katinaya, the Katina Cheevaraya was a robe made of thick cloth to be worn during the cold season in India that followed the Il Poya.
Monks who lived indoors during the vas season, on completing the retreat successfully, were entitled to receive the katinaya and the katina cheevaraya. If a number of monks observed vas at the same place, only one monk out of them was entitled to receive the katinaya and the katina cheevaraya. A single devotee however, was able to offer any number of robes but to monks who live at different places.
With robes being freely available today, some of these practices have largely disappeared. However, although in a different context, we find many Buddhist temples and viharas holding Katina pinkamas in October, keeping alive a tradition that has come down from the days of the Buddha. We see many participating in these pinkamas, organized by the dayakas of the temples. These pinkamas with dancers dancing to the beat of drums which include even one or two caparisoned elephants, walk along roads and by lanes in the early hours of the morning while sesath, flags and other decorative items are carried bythe participants. The folded Katina cheevaraya or the Katina robe which should be hand stitched by devotees and dyed in saffron colour is carried by a devotee on his head who walks under a canopy or an ornamental umbrella with great respect being paid to it by white clad devotees.
Considered as one of the eight great meritorious deeds of the Theravada Buddhism, the Katina procession is arranged on a date between the full moon days of October and November. The procession winds its way to the temple when the devotees offer the Katinaya to a respected person in the temple. On the completion of the rituals, the monks decide on the recipient of the robe. Unlike in the olden days, the needy are given priority by the senior monks after which the recipient delivers a sermon with merit bestowed on the contributors and participants. This concludes the Katina pinkama.