Remembering a wonderful mother, teacher and human being

It’s been two years since the loss of my beloved mother. The fundamental truth of life is suffering, dukka. However, the nostalgia is real when one thinks about the loss of parents. Even these memories, which fade with time is nothing but dukka. Recently many good friends, reminded me of our growing up days in Galle. They paid tribute to my mother, whom they loved very much. What was instilled in their minds was the simple genuine person, that she was.

They reminded me of how we were nurtured with self-discipline and self-respect by our parents. Indeed, when we were growing up, my mother reminded us all the time that if you fill your mind with garbage, it will remain there in your subconscious, thus she insisted that we seek the right things in life. My father always wanted us to think of what was morally correct, and all that was good.

Following her days in Peradeniya my mother become a teacher. She had passed the university entrance from Richmond College. After graduation, she first taught at Sri Medankara Vidyalaya, and from there had a long beautiful stint at Sangamitta Balika Vidyalaya, Galle. She always claimed she owed much to her father--from teaching her the importance of beautiful handwriting to learning maths, languages, literary skills coupled with aesthetic leanings, and then to become the teacher she was after doing Geography Special. She always fondly recalled her Seenigama and Peradeniya days and became an active member of the Peradeniya Alumni Association.

She was a gifted teacher, a much-loved principal and most of all, a noble person, who always considered others above herself. She used to get very excited about her pupils’ progress. She was one of a kind geography teacher, capable of making enthralling mind pictures of various places and instilling in her students the importance of checking the accuracy of these scenes when they encountered them in reality whether it was the Knuckles Range, the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

She wrote many newspaper articles and books. Her book based on a series of newspaper articles, ‘Spring has Sprung’ was an absolute treat to any reader. Instead of filling our home with material things, our par- ents used to fill it with books.

She was never into the ritual trappings of religion but believed firmly in “dhammo

bawe rakkathi dhamma chari” and giving to others was part of her very being. She was not envious about anything and instilled in us that food not shared had no real taste; so when growing up we could not even have a small slab of chocolate without sharing it with the rest of the family.

She took everyone into her confidence and treated them as she liked to be treated. During our formative days, even though my father was very busy with his law practice, my mother would takes us to spend many happy evenings on the ramparts or to a good restaurant. We never missed a good drama, or a musical evening in Galle.

It is no exaggeration if I say that she was free from everyday stress, satisfied with the simple things in life. Most importantly, my parents had a great lifelong partnership.

She never did anything to hurt anyone, nor bore malice or illwill towards anynone. She lived a happy life with no worries until the fall of my father, which was equivalent to the sky falling on us.

The greatest loss was to our children who never got the opportunity of enjoying the company of their wonderful grandparents. Eventually she fell victim to Parkinsons. Over time, I have learnt to appreciate more the legacy of my parents. I am constantly reminded by many, that my parents were very good people and their reference to them as ‘ honda minissu’ echoes in my mind all the time. Chinthaka Mendis