Treasured memories of my mama with the boyish grin
Cyril Uncle, fondly addressed as “Cyril mama” was my mother Callista’s youngest brother. The earliest memories of him I have, take me back to the beautiful tea estates of Sri Lanka in the early sixties. I grew up in an upper middleclass family with six siblings in not so big a house in Maharagama. He sure was the king in the eyes of a small girl. The luxurious old colonial bungalows with flowers over the fireplace, tea served with freshly baked muffins or cookies in the little summer house; attended by a very courteous butler and the beautifully maintained lawns edged by flowers of all kinds, contributed to the regal touch. The tub baths and the puddings were surely the icing on the cake. I loved those holidays and will treasure forever the times we spent with Cyril mama then.
The next recollection is the times we have spent in our grandmother’s coconut estate during our school holidays. Cyril mama would have come to spend the weekend with his mom (my grandmom). These holidays were in total contrast to the ones in the tea estates. He would be very comfortable in his “sarama” and would want the “amme” in the kitchen to make Kaju curry and other specialties of the “Katana house”. We kids of course loved when he came around because then our grandma’s supervision of us relaxed a bit and rules were bent and the food quality surely climbed up a few notches. In those days men of the house had a special place.
Cyril mama was a good 15 years older than I. He was an uncle we looked up to, whose stories we listened to with awe, but got pulled up, if we did something wrong. Those were the days when kids were kids and adults were adults. We were allowed in their company only at meal times and prayer times.
I’m not quite sure when the gap in our relationship bridged and he became an uncle who was close to me and my husband Tommy. I guess it had something to do with his marriage to Marie aunty and the warmth that she brought in to the family. I still remember with gratitude how both of them were a great source of strength and support when my father passed away suddenly. He and Marie aunty were always there when we needed family support. My husband Tommy is an Indian and it was in Cyril mama’s house that we had an informal engagement when Tommy came to meet the family in the absence of my father. Cyril mama very graciously hosted my in-laws in their beautiful home in Colombo when they came from Bombay for my wedding which was held in Sri Lanka. He and Marie aunty were the first family members to visit Tommy and me in our tea estate bungalow in South India (yes, my husband was a tea planter and my childhood dreams inspired by Cyril mama were fulfilled). Tommy and Cyril mama got on famously and that sure did sprout into a relationship which lasted till the end, with many more fun and memorable times spent together.
Cyril mama was born in British Sri Lanka and started working from a very young age in a prestigious tea planting company in the hills of Sri Lanka. He trained and worked under executives who were British, thus making him a perfect gentleman in the true sense of the word. I have never seen him emotional in all the years that I have known him.
His emotions were certainly in his private domain. He sure was his own man, did his duties towards all but, on his own terms. Having lost his father when he was just 1 ½ months old, his childhood I am sure would have been different. He may have formed his opinions in life through his happy and pleasant experiences, as well as those that were difficult and trying. He was a voracious reader and that also would have influenced who he was in many ways. He was not what you may call a religious man, but he had a strong value system by which he was guided and would not compromise on what he thought was right or wrong. He also may have chalked out the path he wanted to follow as an individual, observing the lives of his four siblings who were older to him. Cyril mama was a truly self-made man who achieved what he wanted; and lived by what he believed in. He loved his tennis and took great pride in keeping himself physically fit. He was always a dashing good looker, well dressed and had a charming personality. He had a good sense of humour and was comfortable in the company of any strata of society, across nationalities, diverse religions or other man-made boundaries; while he maintained a certain class and dignity in his interactions.
It was quite a shock to all of us when he took ill and passed away so suddenly. None of us ever realized his chronological age mainly because he was a youthful soul quite abreast of what was new around him and around the world. He was active on FB at age 82 and that in itself is amazing. He was the last surviving member of my mother’s siblings and I say goodbye to a generation of gracious, elegant and sauve dear ones who were born in British Sri Lanka.
Marie aunty holds a special place in my heart and my visits to Sri Lanka will not be complete if I don’t visit her, but Cyril mama’s smiling face with the boyish grin which didn’t leave him even in his eighties, will truly be missed.
Tommy and I cherish the memories of Cyril mama. May his soul rest in peace.
Shirani Thomas nee Nonis